does chocolate go bad?

I think I have a healthy ticker

building a mosque on the 9 11 site is just bad taste

treat people the way you want to be treated

what is the difference between miss America and miss usa

you know what is actually a good combination? peanut butter and nacho cheese doritos

you know what is actually a good combination? peanut butter and nacho cheese doritos

How do marine mammals sleep?

I wonder if catching the wig at a Jerry springer wedding is like catching the bouquet at a regular wedding

I wonder if catching the wig at a Jerry springer wedding is like catching the bouquet at a regular wedding

I wonder if catching the wig at a Jerry springer wedding is like catching the bouquet at a regular wedding

dont be a fool wrap your tool

who is the elephant man i seriously don't know

I think when you turn 18 you should have an advanced directive just in case

my father was abusive but these people (on Steve Wilkos) make him seem like an angel

Quacking makes me happy

I am mighty morphin power quad

what is the difference between assault and battery?

I have noticed that the people who get really defensive are usually lying (on, like, Steve Wilkos).

sibling rivalry apparently isn't just humans

why the hell would you put a loaded gun in the oven

we might have the constitutional right to bear arms but it is regulated out the wazoo

quad toss sounds like an Olympic event

i don't think many people know trains can't stop on a dime

I am a little surprised drinking Tabasco wouldn't make you breathe fire

a little green house effect is actually essential but too much is bad

QUAD CATAPULT

 kids movies have gotten better over the years

QUAD BALLOON

QUAD DENTIST

I wonder why adults don't usually get lice

I think there are a couple species alive today that survived the extinction of the dinosaurs

there are some very basic social rules we learn in kindergarten that some adults seem to forget

it is creepy when a teacher dates a student

I smart

colon flow sounds like an ass plunger

I never really thought about it but Santa is a perv

I think a good parent is the one who sticks around through hell and high water regardless of biologically

does pepper actually make you sneeze?

I think self defense should be taught in school

in space no one can hear you quack

I am a very firm believer in karma and it is about time some good happening to me after years of crap

we are the black sheep of the world

I survived a stroke that is typically fatal. I'll watch what I damn well please

I know it is immature for me to like some of the things I do but i really don't care

when I was a kid I had a really bad temper but now it is nearly impossible to make me mad

Keanu reeves sounds like he is permenently stoned

if there are aliens I doubt they look like humans

I think veterens should be respected because they volunteered to do a job knowing full well they might die

eating animals keeps thier population under control

I think that even though we have the right to protest there is a time and place for it and a funeral isn't one of them

I never really thought about it, but ''elbows'' is a funny word

normal is over rated

I love how unique my black ducks are. I don't think black ducks are native to this area

 my life was completely destroyed by other people but those idiots on springer don't need any help

 my life was completely destroyed by other people but those idiots on springer don't need any help

gobble gobblf

it seems like a bad idea for spouses to share a computer

I am a nerd

I can't figure out how a guy can have sex with somebody and not know she is actually a he and still has man parts

it is funny that I like tom and Jerry as a grown up but I didn't when I was a kid

 I wouldn't be surprised if the mythbusters were in the guiness book of world records

I know they are typically docile but you couldn't pay me to get in a tank with a KILLER whale

Canada. 'nuff said

What is the difference between robbery and burglary?

car vs train never ends well

I have never actually seen a cat chase a mouse in real life

I am a ninja

I bet 100 years ago no one could imagine the kind of technology we think of as common place

how come you need to use a wheel chair in the hospital even if you can walk

aren't those sea monkeys just brine shrimp?

What exactly is ''adult content''?

isn't shri lanka in Asia

I wonder if you can make glass from regular sand (like from the desert or the beach)

I have absolutely no problem with the military. I think it is brave to volunteer to do something knowing full well you may die

what is it about old ladies and cats?

I think it would be funny to get $100 worth of crap from the dollar store

I wonder if Jerry Springer is married

I hear doctors make the worst patients

there is a reason people run AWAY from tornadoes

I think one of the appeals of tv is the lack of smell

botox is no

Glass slippers (like in Cinderella) sound really uncomfortable.

accident sorry

my eye already feels better keeping it closed has helped

pretty black ducks

qui instead of dui (dwi)

flop Olympics

I've noticed that you generally shouldn't touch glowing stuff.

I wonder if the president gets junk mail

how in the world do you dislocate your sholder blade?

''Any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad.''

Its disturbing when men giggle

expect the unexpected and you'll never be surprised

I know there are a lot of double standards between women and men

how the hell do you have sex with somebody and not know they have the wrong equipment

I can't take a person with a tattoo on their neck or face seriously

Do eyes get scabs?

it sucks that the only way to find out that you are allergic to bees is to get stung

it sucks that the only way to find out that you are allergic to bees is to get stung

it sucks that the only way to find out that you are allergic to bees is to get stung

it sucks that the only way to find out that you are allergic to bees is to get stung

I don't have any qualms about eating farm raised meat but I do agree with protecting, like, pandas

What is the difference between a psychologist and psychiatrist?

What is the difference between a psychologist and psychiatrist?

 I am pretty sure sawed off shotguns are illegal

qualified quality quadrangle quadratic quad

I have noticed with homosexual couples 1 is more masculine and 1 is more feminine

I've noticed that (at least on tv) the cops usually want to pull people over for something small (like a ticket) but the idiot makes things 1,000x worse by running.

I have noticed when running from the cops the LAST thing you want to do is draw attention

the individual is smart but as a whole people are idiots

I've noticed that if you are running from the cops, the LAST thing you want to do is draw attention

Size 4 is so unrealistic. I think I'm somewhere between 10 & 14.

Seems like braces would shred the inside of your lips (I wouldn't know. I had a retainer)

do scarab beetles really eat people? I doubt it

I think when kids are small they come first but when they can take case of themselves a parent can put theirself first

I never had braces, but I did have a retainer

bats are the only flying mammal

Can a cow get a sunburn?

When a woman gets a sex change, does he she get fake testicles?

Just so everyone knows, I don't have a H in my name. It's Sara, not Sarah.

beep

I myself am straight but I have absolutely no problem with people who aren't

I know being able to control the tv may not seem like a big deal to the rest of you, but for me I am regaining a little bit of my life that was forcibly taken

I don't get much to look forward to but I am a little excited about my birthday

I'm having a little get together on my birthday (Monday, October 11) from 2 pm to 9 pm. There'll be cake and ice cream

does anyone actually like anchovies?

''Did you sell your baby for drugs?'' WTF

just given the title of this show (Destroyed in Seconds) it can never end well

I have absolutely no problem with homosexuality

I think god is a perv

I think some people try to better themselves after their parents die because they believe their parents are watching them

@$$

Do men who shave thier heads have to do it every day?

I really don't understand the saying ''fight fire with fire''. I would think that would just make a bigger fire.

Those ''real housewives'' are a joke.

is there an airforce 2?

If a cow sneezes, does milk shoot out of it's udders?

I can't think of any situation where running from the cops is a good idea

i wonder if there is a deaf superhero

Exactly how much is a crapload?

I don't remember if I like sushi

I can't quite believe I have been flop for years

I turn 22 in a few days

 I found it was a lot easier to follow the rules when I was a teenager

Never underestimate the power of happy.

word


up

baby dressed like the devil

what is avarice

d00d

Please come visit me on my birthday (October 11). I can deal with being lonely the rest of the year, but at least for 1 day I want to be happy.

Please come visit me on my birthday (October 11). I can deal with being lonely the rest of the year, but at least for 1 day I want to be happy.

Please come visit me on my birthday (October 11). I can deal with being lonely the rest of the year, but at least for 1 day I want to be happy.

I used to think sibling rivalry was only amongst humans

(on Jerry Springer) the person that cheated knowing full well what they are doing is wrong deserves to get beat

I bet 5 hour energy tastes like crap

symptoms include blindness diarrhea and erectile dysfunction

I think making things easier for women just because they are women is just as sexist

I think they should beat up the person who actually did the cheating instead of each other on Jerry Springer.

I am allergic to lactose and nickle

I think if a dog barks too much you won't take it seriously when you should

sounds like masturbation

I wonder what would happen if a woman took Viagra, Enzyte or Cialis.

I know it is bad luck to break a mirror but what about when you purposely score it to break it into smaller pieces to make it into a parabala

my birthday is coming up

if I have learned anything from tv, it's that you shouldn't f*** with the police.

I know every one is legally entitled to a trial but some bastards just don't deserve it

I know you can't graduate high school without enough credits but I wonder if there is an age where they force you to graduate

it pisses me off to see people walk away from accidents worse then mine on tv (especially when they are doing something stupid).

mannequins are creepy

I don't really consider something a sport if it can be mastered by old fat guys

scruff mcgruff chicago illanois 6 0 6 5 2

I wonder, if when somebody gets a sex change, if the Adam's apple gets added or removed.

Being flop gives you an awful lot of time to contimplate weird s***.

I think the term ''sitting duck'' is kind of an oxymoron because ducks don't really sit (at least the same way people do).

I think if you are willing to risk your life for your country your sexual orientation shouldn't matter

how come you only ever hear of old people with diabetes? I don't think I have ever heard of a child with it

I will be 22 next month

logically movies are usually no

BRAINS

QUAD BOOBS

POOP WATER

zombie quad

there is a point where taxadermy is just creepy

radio active candy

radio active candy

I think it would be really funny if Jerry Springer had a couple where the woman was actually a man and the man was actually a woman

it is immensly easier to prevent stuff then go back and fix it later

I must be saving a lot on shoes

because you touch yourself at night

the only good thing about getting stabbed with a saudering iron is it might carterize the wound

I thought bees died after they lost their stingers

how in the world do you get kicked out of Disneyland?

there is no subsistute for experience

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck

The Jerry Springer show is silly but the Steve Wilkos show gets s*** done

the only reason I am even remotely ok with having basically 0 friends is because I know everybody has their own lives to deal with.

It's funny, we all wish for a life without pain but it's actually very important

I used to be able to fight better then most guys

The Proactiv commercials kind of annoy me because the people they showcase don't really have bad acne to begin with

I think it isn't the best idea to be a famous singer before puberty because your voice is going to change

I have only had steak for dinner

steak for breakfast sounds excessive

dradle dradle dradle I made you out of Clare

The Jery Springer show may be the very definition of sleeze but he gives good advice at the end

The Jery Springer show may be the very definition of sleeze but he gives good advice at the end

1% evil 99% hot gas

so long and thanks for all the fish

It cracks me up that Pinky and the Brain will wander inside.

we are lucky to live in a country where you won't get shot for being an ass

The concept of ''The Real House Wives'' show is stupid because real house wives damn sure don't look like models

no one should have to die all alone

Batman was just a really smart, really rich guy

I wonder how people discover they have weird ass talents

 there are some weird ass world records

I really don't understand how a LifeAlert thing would make you feel younger. I would think it have the exact opposite effect because it would be a constant reminder of how old and feeble you are.

now that I am older I understand the saying ''men are from Mars, women are from Venus''. I wonder if super flaming gay men would be from Venus and really butch lesbians would be from Mars.

I think if you are gonna break up with some one you should have the common courtesy of doing it face to face instead of over the phone

I imagine bouncing around on your balls (like in South Park) would be painful

I don't miss the chaos that is the first day of school

If anybody asked me what my home town was I would say here because I have lived here the longest and I graduated high school here (I was born in San Diego but haven't been back in 20 years. I'm 21).

I can't take a man with pink hair seriously

I wonder how Joseph reacted when the virgin Mary told him she was pregnant (I may not believe in that stuff but I do wonder).

yay fire

I certainly don't have a high opinion of the kids who have basically everything handed to them but they lash out by doing drugs and having sex

I haven't seen twilight and don't want to

jellyfish look harmless enough but I definitely WOULD NOT want to get stung by one

I don't understand the point of filtered water. Humans survived just fine for hundreds of thousands of years before it

curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought him back

I don't understand all the crazy s*** women usually do even though I'm a woman.

I wonder if the people in video clips (like on World's Dumbest...) ever recognize themselves.

My body is kaput but at least my mind is healthy (albiet a bit dirty).

Why in the world would you light your balls on fire?

what is larson?

I love my duckies

can pigs swim?

female body builders look like men

raw oysters look like snot

magic bananas

when is running from the cops ever a good idea? I would think people would know better

cheerleading isn't a real job

No matter how tame a wild animal gets they're still just that, animals. It really doesn't surprise me that they occasionally maul people.

I have heard of those all in 1 tools but I wonder if there is a tool that actually does everything (like a Swiss army knife on steroids).

I liked Avatar but I am not certain what was so great about it

when is running from the cops ever a good idea?

I am a big supporter of the use of seat belts

what is the difference between a carosel and merry go round?

I don't think I have ever heard of a baby with diabetes

I didn't know twilight was originally a book

I wonder how you get Dick from Richard.

I have never been arrested

I know the justice system is innocent until proven guilty but sometimes bail could let guilty people get away

I think if you get thrown in jail you should be required to wait like a week before you post bail

as far as I am concerned, father doesn't necessarily equal dad

Seriously don't ever forget to use your seatbelt. Mine saved my life.

''Anything crazy has to come from Texas.''

If your birthday is on Christmas, do you get twice as many presents?

I think my condition would be hell on a hypocondriac

I think if you enter this country illegally you should get booted out

I have noticed the reason people usually give to try and justify cheating on Jerry Springer is there is something wrong at home

isn't a mile between 3 and 5 thousand feet?

I think I calmed down so much because even though I knew how to beat people up I was taught that it isn't right to just go and punch somebody. I was young enough that it stuck.

I used to have a really nasty temper but now I am very calm and patient

I think stuck up adults who try to overly control children need to remember what it was like to be a kid

I think in order to be a male fashion designer being gay is probably a prerequisite

ninja quad

If I had Activia, I wonder if it would cancel out my lactose intolerance

PHAIL @ LIFE

When is drinking a flaming shot ever a good idea?

If you're prone to sleepwalking I wonder if you'd continue to do so if you're flop.

How do you get contacts out?

I don't understand the trend about having white teeth

I AM A SNEAKY QUAD

I have had fake stuffed ducks since the day I was born

after getting past all that teenage crap i realised it really isn't all that important

  well Jesus

  well Jesus

  well Jesus

I'm old enough so I know better but young enough that I'm not completely set in my ways

I doubt most people would choose to live this way but I take it all in stride

Obey gravity It's the law

The magnificent flopping quad

I am glad I don't have testicles

if you are dumb enough to leave your car unlocked with the keys in the ignition you are basically asking to have it stolen

I am a smart assignment

I am a pretty fairy princess

I don't think many people can say they have been humped by a dolphin

what is the difference between a wig and a weave?

man cave

what kind of crazy person would spend $550 on 3 tulips?

I don't think I have ever seen an actual woman with a cleft chin

The mask is better then the prongs up the nose.

most kid shows are how I would imagine an acid trip would be

I'm not a hardcore over the top patriot but I do think we should be grateful we can do stuff like protest without getting shot.

''If people didn't fart they'd explode.''

I know if something is wrong the first thing to go is the kidneys

Every ability I manage to get back is a big f*** you to the naysayers.

The ducks are so cute

it's a lot of work being a duck

i think we are the exception in the universe not the rule

I figure don't bother worrying about certain things because it is way far off and I couldn't do shit about it

do you really need to declare land ho if you run aground?

air ducts aren't made to support the weight of a full grown adult

what is ketoacidosis?

its almost better then sex

I don't know what it is about sneezing

Out of curiosity, is it a hate crime to beat up a midget?

I like being a smart ass

there once was a person who did something. the end

I defiantly DO NOT miss growing pains

I wonder if ducks get growing pains

The duckies certainly can't replace Dusty (he was such a good cat for a LONG time) but having them makes me happier than I've felt in a while.

isn't the tempanic membrane also called the ear drum?

I don't like geese they are mean

 I have gotten a splinter or 2 from bamboo and IT SUCKED

I absolutely love my duckies.

I wonder if hamsters could actually fit in a toaster

dude midgets and KISS are made of win

if I remember correctly our bodies are about 2 3rds water

they are so damn cute!

I ended up naming the ducks (there's 2) Pinky and the Brain (I can't tell them apart yet).

They're Pinky and the Brain, Pinky and the Brain, one is a genious, the other's insane. They're laboratory mice who's genes have all been spliced, they're Pinky they're Pinky and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain

the duckies are so damn cute!

peep peep peep

it is so cute I can barely stand it

I am having trouble coming up with a name for the duck any suggestions

I got a duck today. For those who don't know, ducks have been my favourite animal my entire life.

I got a duck today. For those who don't know, ducks have been my favourite animal my entire life.

I got a duck today. For those who don't know, ducks have been my favourite animal my entire life.

I got a duck today. For those who don't know, ducks have been my favourite animal my entire life.

fish surgery sounds like a band

Sorry if I keep posting the same thing twice

I have a feeling that it would be virtally impossible for me to get car insurance

''Meat tube''

''Meat tube''

''Meat tube''

I bet the professionals don't always like having Mike Rowe around because he must slow things WAY down

I wonder where they got the idea for Dirty Jobs.

I have the easiest way to lose weight

vampires have gone from being a thing of fear to some pretty boys fangirls squeel over

the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry

I really don't give a s*** if you have different beliefs as long as you leave me alone about mine

I have heard that with their owners police dogs can be rather sweet

What is it about being drunk and naked?

I am really glad we don't live in an area prone to gun violence

seeing the stupid crap people do makes me kind of glad i am flop

I am really glad we live in a safe area

who is the vice President?

''The flop heard round the world.''

I think it would be ironic if a cat ate a catfish

I don't understand the appeal of yoga

QUAD BRAIN

Jesus with a mullet

I think if you need to go on a tv talk show to resolve something with a spouse the relationship is already doomed

I wonder what would happen if somebody went back in time and killed Hitler BEFORE the Holocaust

 we are obsessed with time

I love Robot Chicken because it is so ridiculous

I liked Despicable Me. It was silly.

man nipples

it is a little odd how satisfying sneezing can be

it took me a couple of years to earn all those belts in martial arts (12)

How much is a hand full?

Ancient Egyptian history is fascinating.

What language(s) do they speak in the Philippines?

''Your clevage is not a pillow.'' (Michael said that. I thought it was funny because it makes absolutely NO sense.)

I am pretty sure a typhoon is like a hurricane

I think it is funny we keep coming up with special beds when a few thousand years ago people slept on rocks

*monicle*

it is extremely tacky to wear a strapped bra with a strapless dress

I don't remember what the spleen does

42

What is the difference between an alligator and crocodile?

what I don't get is how you can claim to love somebody then beat and cheat and generally treat them like crap

they can rebuild him. they can make him stronger (Buster on Mythbusters. He's a crash test dummy)

I think it is stupid to have a crush on a fictional character

cock a doodle do

it's springtime for Hitler and Germany! Winter for Poland and France! (it's from The Producers)

fish feast!

Do a barrel roll!

I really don't get how racing cars or boats could be physically taxing

how in the world do you land a hot air balloon?

Honestly the commercials where they're like ''there's nothing worse than (something superficial)'' piss me off because there really are much worse things (like AIDS).

If the actors in RENO 911! were actually cops I'd never go to Reno.

what does rotc mean

In Spiderman 3 (as Venom) he has emo hair.

I am pretty sure getting bitten by a radioactive spider would KILL YOU

crabalanch

Things like Cialis, Enzyte and Viagra bring new meaning to the phrase happy pill.

I used my feet kind of like a second pair of hands

what is the purpose of the Eiffel Tower?

the dogs just love the 4th of July (I'm being sarcastic)

it would be excessive to have a tv in the bathroom

me chinese me play joke me put pee pee in your coke

what exactly is cocoa butter?

if you gained enough weight to break a hammock from 1 bite of a hamburger you don't need Subway you need a doctor

it is easier just to cooperate with the cops

I make a point of not bothering to worry about stuff I have absolutely no control over

when you think about it, oxygen is basically plant poop

I have monkey feet

captain horse penis

captain horse penis

the second you are born you don't have a name

I wonder why we celebrate Independence Day by blowing crap up

the birds and the bees analogy doesn't make sense

edible underwear doesn't make sense

you can't take a possible threat seriously if a dog barks at EVERYTHING

chillin' like a villain

they are too pudgy to really have any distinct features

I don't think you have to be married to have sex but do think you should be married to have kids (Of course I know pregnany can be an accident. I'm talking about when it isn't).

how fast is a knot

f*** I wouldn't live where there are hurricanes or tornadoes

I wonder what would happen if you put jet or rocket fuel in a car

even in a good light

people who are different don't always want attention drawn to their differences

gaydar is an awesome term

I was doing the lyrics to Baby Got Back but I accidentally deleted it. F***.

I can't imagine anybody would actually want hiv

if I knew about a universe where I wasn't flop i would be pissed

stupid people shouldn't breed

PHAIL @ LIFE

I have a leather jacket and if those crazy PETA people threw red paint on it I would be furious

the internet is a series of tubes

needs more cow bell!

what are leisure studies?

I probably think e d is funny because I don't have a penis

you can't really express your opinion with out stepping on a few toes

what is an annuity?

I do not miss the DMV

I do not miss the DMV

it would be scary as all get out if you weren't strapped to the gurney in an ambulance

what the hell is a jack a lope?

I love Jerry Springer. It's chock full of incest and boobies.

wtf is a hair trigger?

English is the official language so I think you should learn at least enough to get by

you would have to do something exceptionally stupid to break every bone in your body at once (even the bones in the inner ear).

I heard flailing on the surface of the water attracts sharks because it imitates a dying fish

I think if everybody could carry a concealed weapon crime would actually go down because you wouldn't know who would be packing heat

I am glad I am a tomboy

I don't get how some people can allow themselves to get massively obese

I think at some point it is just more humane to put an animal down if they are ill and old

if you drive an atv do you need a special licence?

videogames now are a far cry from centipede or asteroids

I don't think a woman's voice changes when she is a lesbian

I don't think a woman's voice changes when she is a lesbian

I don't think a woman's voice changes when she is a lesbian

why do men usually have a different voice when they are gay?

Of course I have heard of drag queens but are there drag kings?

I really don't understand the appeal of little yippy dogs

people do weird crap

I don't really understand why they call it rush hour

I would never f*** with an ostrich

I wonder if bad ass is actually in the dictionary

I definitely doubt any kid dreams of being a road kill collector

bug sex!

I wonder if anyone is ever in the right place at the wrong time or vice versa

looks like most enviromentalism is just us trying to fix what we f***ed up in the first place

What is the difference between a sailfish & swordfish?

bugs!

fabulous!

 there are some weird world records

wtf is a bear cat?

I don't wear pants.

E.T.A. means estimated time of arrival

''Happiness is a warm puppy.''

I find it ironic that the word phonetic isn't spelled phonetically.

Just so everybody knows if I don't know how to spell something I spell it phonetically.

wiping your ass with a little piece of heaven

a real man takes care of his kids

how in the world can you be OVER qualified?

it makes absolutely no sense to have a tv in the bathroom

don't poke the soft spot

Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse

what is valure?

I was a damn good driver

people do stupid crap

I may feel lonely sometimes but I can't imagine how terrible it would be all alone

even after a couple of years I don't really feel like a grown up yet

if we are so concerned about over population we shouldn't let people have 15 or 16 kids.

is mad cow disease even still around?

I really wish somebody would visit me. No one ever does just because.

do people really close their eyes when they die?

is ashton a boy's or a girl's name?

sometimes ignorance really is bliss

I am really glad tv doesn't transmit smell

sounds like scientists use the god excuse to try to explain crap they just don't know

I don't understand why the women on Jerry Springer wear wigs

often the best solution is the simplist

I heard getting into space sucks major monkey balls but it is really cool once you get there

I heard getting into space sucks major monkey balls but it is really cool once you get there

beep beep I'm a Jeep

Canada eh?

I wonder if murder is ever committed in warm blood

I would never stay with somebody who was hitting me just because I had a kid with them

I wonder why they did the sequels first for Star Wars then the prequels about 25 years later

What is the difference between a typhoon and tropical storm?

how far north do you have to go before it is light or dark 24 hours a day for 6 months?

what is it with gay men and the word fabulous?

I like that House did an episode about Locked In Syndrome. Its pretty much like that.

I like that House did an episode about Locked In Syndrome. Its pretty much like that.

it's interesting how the biggest creatures on the planet (whales) eat the smallest (plankton).