She's doing pretty good today. Basically a nice rest day for her. She seems a lot more comfortable.
Yesterday we were able to work out how she can indicate pain and get some relief. I think that having that ability, and the staff knowing, has eased her somewhat. She seems to be needing less pain medication today, and has been resting well.
Her father came and saw her this morning. She was communicating with him, and moving around slightly when the staff had to suction her tubing (she hates that). Before he left, however, she got real sleepy and got somewhat sluggish.
She has been a bit sluggish today, but has had periods of awake and communicating. She's not in as much pain as yesterday, although she still is.
When I arrived she had a pretty good fever going on. The nurse and I decided that we wouldn't let Mike or Daniel in until we'd brought her fever down. Well, I can bring a fever down with the best of them, so Mom went to work. About an hour later she was back down to 37.5c from 38.8c. While cooling her slowly I took the opportunity to move her joints, flex and stretch, rotated the ones that are designed that way, and I massaged her to help circulation. Then the Lift Team came in to move her position in the bed.
When they put her flat and adjusted her position she started having trouble breathing. They brought her back up into position, but she was still having some trouble. The nurse went to suction her breathing tube and Sara bit down on it - she hates to be suctioned. She started turning purple and trying to cough. Well, she's not listening to the nurse to relax her teeth so she can suction, so I get the bright idea to stick my finger in her mouth and pull her lower jaw down.
Well, it worked, but as payment for her hating to be suctioned she nearly bit the end of my finger off when Nurse-Paige was done. Probably serves me right...but she did open her jaw for me...
So, I talked to her afterward. Let her know that she can't fight when its time to suction. That I know she hates it, but it must be scarier not to feel like you can breathe, which she acknowledged.
Nurse-Paige said she wanted to give Sara a nice rest period, after the fever, move, and suctioning - but said we could still be in the room with her.
Mike came in and it is the first time in a week that our little family was in the same room with each other. The three of us are very close, despite our occasional challenges. We sit on the couch, watch TV, and eat junkfood together once a week. We goof around together. And, sitting here in the same room as my beautiful daughter and her gnarly brother I wanted so very much for us to just be sitting on the couch - this scene far away from the reality we currently face.
Daniel came in and Mike and Daniel stayed with her for a while. Just basically being able to see her helps them so much. Helps me so much. Can help any of us...
The hospital staff has been amazed at the calm all of us radiate and the hope and patience her family has. They tell me that I'm so brave and calm. I've told them that I'm scared shitless all the time, but I am radiating my strength for her. I break down here and there - sometimes in the same room with her, most of the time not... I remind them that it is not as bad as it could be...she could be dead. I've been through that outcome with one of my children already. Trust me, it sucks... ...but she's not dead... ...she's very lucky to be here... that means so much...
So this, staring into the unknown with Sara in my arms...this I can handle.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sara Communication
Sara started to move slightly and her vitals came up (respirations higher and heart rate higher) indicating that she was awake and aware.
Mom: Sara. If you are awake can you move something for me? Can you move something for me? Can you move your eyes under your lids if you are awake?
Sara: (moves eyes)
Mom: Sara, I'm going to open your eyes. (opens eyes) Hi Baby Girl.
Sara: Yes (probably Hi)
Mom: Hi sweetie. You're awake.
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Is the pain medication working?
Sara: Yes and No.
Mom: Are you telling me it is working some?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: But you still hurt?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Ok. Well, we can't give you a whole lot of pain medication, but we'll try and keep you comfortable.
Sara: Yes.
Mom: I know it hurts. I know you get tired, too.
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Its ok sweetie. Little bit here and there is just fine.
Sara: Yes.
Mom: So when we talk for right now i'm going to keep it short, ok?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: I'm going to close your eyes and let you rest. (closing eyes)
Sara: (opens eyes slightly)
Mom: oh, Sara, you can open your eyes. Can you open your eyes for me?
Sara: (opens eyes slightly, then closes)
Nurse-Carlo: Sara. Can you open your eyes?
Sara: (opens eyes slightly, moved her eyes slightly below lids)
Nurse-Carlo: Ok Sara, that's good.
Mom: Sara. You showed us you can open your eyes. And I know you get tired, sweetie. Can you open your eyes to let us know you want us to talk to you? I'm going to let you rest for a while, but when you want us to talk to you next can you open your eyes for me?
Sara: (slightly opens eyes, moves eyes)
Mom: Ok baby girl. We'll learn how to communicate. You tell us when you want us to talk to you...unless you are resting. Go to sleep baby girl. You're doing ok. You rest.
Mom: Sara. If you are awake can you move something for me? Can you move something for me? Can you move your eyes under your lids if you are awake?
Sara: (moves eyes)
Mom: Sara, I'm going to open your eyes. (opens eyes) Hi Baby Girl.
Sara: Yes (probably Hi)
Mom: Hi sweetie. You're awake.
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Is the pain medication working?
Sara: Yes and No.
Mom: Are you telling me it is working some?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: But you still hurt?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Ok. Well, we can't give you a whole lot of pain medication, but we'll try and keep you comfortable.
Sara: Yes.
Mom: I know it hurts. I know you get tired, too.
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Its ok sweetie. Little bit here and there is just fine.
Sara: Yes.
Mom: So when we talk for right now i'm going to keep it short, ok?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: I'm going to close your eyes and let you rest. (closing eyes)
Sara: (opens eyes slightly)
Mom: oh, Sara, you can open your eyes. Can you open your eyes for me?
Sara: (opens eyes slightly, then closes)
Nurse-Carlo: Sara. Can you open your eyes?
Sara: (opens eyes slightly, moved her eyes slightly below lids)
Nurse-Carlo: Ok Sara, that's good.
Mom: Sara. You showed us you can open your eyes. And I know you get tired, sweetie. Can you open your eyes to let us know you want us to talk to you? I'm going to let you rest for a while, but when you want us to talk to you next can you open your eyes for me?
Sara: (slightly opens eyes, moves eyes)
Mom: Ok baby girl. We'll learn how to communicate. You tell us when you want us to talk to you...unless you are resting. Go to sleep baby girl. You're doing ok. You rest.
From some friends...
Firstly, my boss is sending money to Kristine, in lieu of flowers (and the like). I strongly encourage anyone else to do the same.
Secondly, a friend sent me a couple of links to places that help in cases like this:
Betty Clooney Foundation (sister of Rosemary Clooney and aunt to George Clooney): http://www.bettyclooneyfoundation.org/
Brain Trauma Foundation: http://www.braintrauma.org/site/PageServer
Secondly, a friend sent me a couple of links to places that help in cases like this:
Betty Clooney Foundation (sister of Rosemary Clooney and aunt to George Clooney): http://www.bettyclooneyfoundation.org/
Brain Trauma Foundation: http://www.braintrauma.org/site/PageServer
Chaplain Beth
The hospital has different chaplains who assist patients and families with espressing their faith. After Sara's episode yesterday the Chaplain offered her services and blessings for Sara. At that time I expressed our beliefs and declined, with appreciation for the offer.
Well, she returned today to follow up and just look in with Sara. It occured to me that this experience may have changed Sara's beliefs or otherwise what she may want to tap into for her strength through it. In the absence of her stating so, I thought it might be comforting to hear a blessing for her. So I asked her if it would be something she wanted, yes or no. She did not respond, as she does have some pretty good pain medication onboard at this moment. I told her that I was going to acknowledge that she may have a need for faith in an external power and asked Chaplain Beth to pray and offer a blessing for Sara. I told Sara that if there was something of value for her in this to take it and grow it, and if not to let it go.
Chaplain Beth offered a beautiful prayer and blessing for Sara, calling for the channeling of energy in support of her fight to get better and a stream of love to support her through it. She talked about Sara's beauty and strength and espressed hope for her recovery. And then she told her that the blessing is for her, to take and work with it, and find peace and calm in this.
Thank You Chaplain Beth.
Please accept help, and support, and blessings from those who will offer them to you. They can actually be very comforting, even if you find that you are not religous. What you experience is an expression of good, and the power of that is truly universal.
Well, she returned today to follow up and just look in with Sara. It occured to me that this experience may have changed Sara's beliefs or otherwise what she may want to tap into for her strength through it. In the absence of her stating so, I thought it might be comforting to hear a blessing for her. So I asked her if it would be something she wanted, yes or no. She did not respond, as she does have some pretty good pain medication onboard at this moment. I told her that I was going to acknowledge that she may have a need for faith in an external power and asked Chaplain Beth to pray and offer a blessing for Sara. I told Sara that if there was something of value for her in this to take it and grow it, and if not to let it go.
Chaplain Beth offered a beautiful prayer and blessing for Sara, calling for the channeling of energy in support of her fight to get better and a stream of love to support her through it. She talked about Sara's beauty and strength and espressed hope for her recovery. And then she told her that the blessing is for her, to take and work with it, and find peace and calm in this.
Thank You Chaplain Beth.
Please accept help, and support, and blessings from those who will offer them to you. They can actually be very comforting, even if you find that you are not religous. What you experience is an expression of good, and the power of that is truly universal.
Sara's Step-Mom and Father saved the day...
As you all know, healthcare is wildly expensive. When I lost my job with HealthTech Solutions I lost all benefits. Being an independent contractor has been tough making ends meet, let alone looking at health insurance.
Denise and Tracy have maintained Sara and Mike on her Kaiser insurance. I didn't know this. Its amazing, given that Sara has been less than kind to her step-mother and they have a diffucult relationship. But, despite this, Denise not only maintained her on the insurance, but spent two days making sure everything was in effect and good to take care of her. They have absolutely saved the day for us.
The Kaiser representative comes by every day and makes sure care is up to their standards and that Sara's needs are being served appropriately. At some point she will be transferred into a Kaiser facility, but it is way too soon for any of us to know when or how.
But, I would like to express my deep gratitude to Denise, for her steadfastness regardless of the struggles in our family dynamic, and for being an angel for Sara. She will know what an important part you have made for her. And she will understand.
Denise and Tracy have maintained Sara and Mike on her Kaiser insurance. I didn't know this. Its amazing, given that Sara has been less than kind to her step-mother and they have a diffucult relationship. But, despite this, Denise not only maintained her on the insurance, but spent two days making sure everything was in effect and good to take care of her. They have absolutely saved the day for us.
The Kaiser representative comes by every day and makes sure care is up to their standards and that Sara's needs are being served appropriately. At some point she will be transferred into a Kaiser facility, but it is way too soon for any of us to know when or how.
But, I would like to express my deep gratitude to Denise, for her steadfastness regardless of the struggles in our family dynamic, and for being an angel for Sara. She will know what an important part you have made for her. And she will understand.
Music For Sara
As indicated in an earlier post, Sara has been listening to music and wants to. I figured, since I don't know every type of music she wants, that I would ask all of you reading this who know her to let me know songs she likes. If I can get these I can make a playlist on my mp3 player or burn her a CD or something. What I might end up doing is getting Sara's music off of her comptuer and adding it to my library so I can see what we have combined.
So if you know songs, bands, etc that Sara quite likes, leave this post a comment.
-Michael
So if you know songs, bands, etc that Sara quite likes, leave this post a comment.
-Michael
Sara Baker Trust Fund
Friends - Sara's boyfriend is Daniel Hattem. His mother has taken it upon herself to setup a trust fund for Sara's care.
I do not know the details. I will ask Daniel and Nanci to post details here. I believe it is the Sara Baker Trust Fund at Exchange Bank.
Our family is so very grateful to our friends and family. As much as Sara is in your prayers, you are also in ours.
She is so very loved...
I do not know the details. I will ask Daniel and Nanci to post details here. I believe it is the Sara Baker Trust Fund at Exchange Bank.
Our family is so very grateful to our friends and family. As much as Sara is in your prayers, you are also in ours.
She is so very loved...
Communicating with Sara
She was just awake enough for me to communicate with her. How amazing...
for her, yes is down and no is up. That is because it is easier for her to look down than up right now, and that most questions will be yes answers (do you hurt? are you awake? etc.)
Mom: Sara, are you awake?
Sara: Yes
Mom: Are you in pain?
Sara: Yes. (then eyes went up and down, up down)
Mom: Sara. Are you trying to tell us "a lot" by moving your eyes up and down over and over?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Ok. I understand. Bear with me, we have to learn how to talk to each other. We'll do it. Its ok.
Mom: Can you help us figure out where you hurt?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Is it your hand?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Is it only your hand?
Sara: No.
Mom: Is it your head?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Is it your chest?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Is it everywhere?
Sara: Yes.
Nurse-Carlo: Sara. You say you hurt. Can you tell me if you hurt?
Sara: Yes.
Nurse-Carlo: Ok, Sara. I will let the team know and get you some pain medication.
(sara tried to open her eyes)
Mom: Sara. Can you open your eyes?
Sara: (opens eyes slightly-eyes moving)
Nurse-Carlo: Sara. Can you open your eyes?
Sara: (opens eyes, closes, open eyes slightly...peeking out at us. eyes moving under lids)
Mom: That's great Sara! That's awesome. You can control your eyes.
Mom: Sara. I talked to Daniel. He misses you so much.
Sara: (eyes up and down a lot)
Mom: Are you trying to tell me you miss him a lot, too?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: I will tell him. I am sure he knows, but I will tell him.
Mom: I know this can be very tiring for you. I don't know if anyone has told you, but you are not paralyzed. We keep asking you to move your toes, fingers, etc. We ask this not because you are paralyzed, but because you aren't. Your injury affects your brain being able to talk to your muscles and make them move. Do you understand me?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Sara, is your cat blue?
Sara: No.
Mom: I know I ask you stupid questions, but I have to so we are sure we are communicating.
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Sara, we are going to keep down for yes and no for up from here on. I'm going to let everyone know. But, for right now, I'm going to let you rest. You have one job and that is getting better. But you are doing ok, we can talk to you, and we are here for you. Go to sleep and rest some. You need to heal. (closed Sara's eyes)
I rubbed her arm for a few minutes more and her heartrate settled, respirations evened out and she seemed to start resting.
Onward and Upward...
for her, yes is down and no is up. That is because it is easier for her to look down than up right now, and that most questions will be yes answers (do you hurt? are you awake? etc.)
Mom: Sara, are you awake?
Sara: Yes
Mom: Are you in pain?
Sara: Yes. (then eyes went up and down, up down)
Mom: Sara. Are you trying to tell us "a lot" by moving your eyes up and down over and over?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Ok. I understand. Bear with me, we have to learn how to talk to each other. We'll do it. Its ok.
Mom: Can you help us figure out where you hurt?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Is it your hand?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Is it only your hand?
Sara: No.
Mom: Is it your head?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Is it your chest?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Is it everywhere?
Sara: Yes.
Nurse-Carlo: Sara. You say you hurt. Can you tell me if you hurt?
Sara: Yes.
Nurse-Carlo: Ok, Sara. I will let the team know and get you some pain medication.
(sara tried to open her eyes)
Mom: Sara. Can you open your eyes?
Sara: (opens eyes slightly-eyes moving)
Nurse-Carlo: Sara. Can you open your eyes?
Sara: (opens eyes, closes, open eyes slightly...peeking out at us. eyes moving under lids)
Mom: That's great Sara! That's awesome. You can control your eyes.
Mom: Sara. I talked to Daniel. He misses you so much.
Sara: (eyes up and down a lot)
Mom: Are you trying to tell me you miss him a lot, too?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: I will tell him. I am sure he knows, but I will tell him.
Mom: I know this can be very tiring for you. I don't know if anyone has told you, but you are not paralyzed. We keep asking you to move your toes, fingers, etc. We ask this not because you are paralyzed, but because you aren't. Your injury affects your brain being able to talk to your muscles and make them move. Do you understand me?
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Sara, is your cat blue?
Sara: No.
Mom: I know I ask you stupid questions, but I have to so we are sure we are communicating.
Sara: Yes.
Mom: Sara, we are going to keep down for yes and no for up from here on. I'm going to let everyone know. But, for right now, I'm going to let you rest. You have one job and that is getting better. But you are doing ok, we can talk to you, and we are here for you. Go to sleep and rest some. You need to heal. (closed Sara's eyes)
I rubbed her arm for a few minutes more and her heartrate settled, respirations evened out and she seemed to start resting.
Onward and Upward...
Status - 10/30 a.m.
Sara is improving after having her cranial shunt inserted. Excess fluid has been able to slowly drain and pressure return to normal.
She is also out of her coma and is back to breathing on her own. They do have her getting about 40% oxygen to help support the oxygenation of her blood, with the goal being getting her to room air with appropriate blood oxygen saturation.
They removed a couple of lines overnight that are no longer needed...one of those being an arterial access line. This line was put into her femoral artery and allowed access to her brain for the removal of the clot in the pons section of her basal brain. The amazing surgery the performed with a device called a Merci Retriever. They then injected the tried and true clot busting medication t-PA. t-PA is normally only effective within the first 3 hours of stroke onset, but is used in companion with the Merci Retriever to break down any residual clot left behind and prevent more from forming. They also (through normal IV) gave her Heparin, which is a blood thinner with anticlotting capabilities. They had to balance very carefully her blood clotting capability, as being too aggressive with keeping clotting from happening would have caused her to bleed excessively in other injuries and jeopardize her.
This morning she was able to communicate again, using eye movements. The Trauma Resident was able to ask her some questions with yes/no answers. She was asked if she was in pain, to which she answered Yes. She was then given some pain medication and a mild setative and has been resting.
When I told her that I was here and talked to her, she cried. She's very scared and in some pain. We both cry a lot, out of frustration mainly. I told her that I was going to be right next to her and she could rest, I would be watching over her - to which she answered Yes. So I stroked her arm for a few minutes until she started to relax.
We'll keep you posted. But, for right now, she's coming back from her episode yesterday and doing better.
K
She is also out of her coma and is back to breathing on her own. They do have her getting about 40% oxygen to help support the oxygenation of her blood, with the goal being getting her to room air with appropriate blood oxygen saturation.
They removed a couple of lines overnight that are no longer needed...one of those being an arterial access line. This line was put into her femoral artery and allowed access to her brain for the removal of the clot in the pons section of her basal brain. The amazing surgery the performed with a device called a Merci Retriever. They then injected the tried and true clot busting medication t-PA. t-PA is normally only effective within the first 3 hours of stroke onset, but is used in companion with the Merci Retriever to break down any residual clot left behind and prevent more from forming. They also (through normal IV) gave her Heparin, which is a blood thinner with anticlotting capabilities. They had to balance very carefully her blood clotting capability, as being too aggressive with keeping clotting from happening would have caused her to bleed excessively in other injuries and jeopardize her.
This morning she was able to communicate again, using eye movements. The Trauma Resident was able to ask her some questions with yes/no answers. She was asked if she was in pain, to which she answered Yes. She was then given some pain medication and a mild setative and has been resting.
When I told her that I was here and talked to her, she cried. She's very scared and in some pain. We both cry a lot, out of frustration mainly. I told her that I was going to be right next to her and she could rest, I would be watching over her - to which she answered Yes. So I stroked her arm for a few minutes until she started to relax.
We'll keep you posted. But, for right now, she's coming back from her episode yesterday and doing better.
K
Monday, October 29, 2007
Request for help
Anyone who knows me knows it is incredibly hard for me to ask...
1. I've spent my PG&E payment (and then some) on gas going back and forth to Sacramento and hospital parking... If anyone (or a few someones) can help it would be GREATLY appreciated. Loan or gift...either one greatly appreciated. My bill is $285.
2. Sara's grandmother is staying at my house taking care of Michael, our animals (specifically Sara's beloved cat Dusty). If anyone has an extra car you can loan us so she can get him to and from school, grocery shop, handle emergencies, it would be greatly appreciated.
If able to help, please let us know via comment. Thanks. K
1. I've spent my PG&E payment (and then some) on gas going back and forth to Sacramento and hospital parking... If anyone (or a few someones) can help it would be GREATLY appreciated. Loan or gift...either one greatly appreciated. My bill is $285.
2. Sara's grandmother is staying at my house taking care of Michael, our animals (specifically Sara's beloved cat Dusty). If anyone has an extra car you can loan us so she can get him to and from school, grocery shop, handle emergencies, it would be greatly appreciated.
If able to help, please let us know via comment. Thanks. K
Michael is having a hard time too...
This has been such a hard day on Michael. he's had such a great outpouring of support from his friends, but was mentally exhausted when he got home. He worried his grandmother enough that she called me at the hospital because he just wouldn't talk.
Well, I called his Dad...nobody quite gets Michael out of his shell like Mike. Mike got him talking and everything is going ok, he's feeling better.
I share this because this is hard on each of us...don't underestimate the effect this is having on you - especially if you are a close friend of any of us. Please, PLEASE, if you are feeling overwhelmed, or deeply sad, don't shut yourself off...talk to a parent (we're not all evil...)talk to a friend(but remember they may be going through it too - or completely removed from the situation), or if a THS student go talk to Mrs. T, Marsha, Mr. Harris.
None of us are alone in this and can be as supportive of each other in our dealing with this as people are in support of her family.
As much as your thoughts are with us, our thoughts are also with you.
Sara is very much loved.
Well, I called his Dad...nobody quite gets Michael out of his shell like Mike. Mike got him talking and everything is going ok, he's feeling better.
I share this because this is hard on each of us...don't underestimate the effect this is having on you - especially if you are a close friend of any of us. Please, PLEASE, if you are feeling overwhelmed, or deeply sad, don't shut yourself off...talk to a parent (we're not all evil...)talk to a friend(but remember they may be going through it too - or completely removed from the situation), or if a THS student go talk to Mrs. T, Marsha, Mr. Harris.
None of us are alone in this and can be as supportive of each other in our dealing with this as people are in support of her family.
As much as your thoughts are with us, our thoughts are also with you.
Sara is very much loved.
Shunt is in
Neurosurgery came by a little while ago and performed a surgical procedure in her room. I'll keep the squeamish details out, but basically they drilled a hole in her head, put in a tube and are allowing the pressure to come down and excess cerebriospinal fluid to drain. (btw--she has a Britney Spears haircut...remember the one from the picture of her getting it...and a nice lineup of franken-staples)
What had happened is that your brain circulates this fluid all around and through little chambers in the brain and throughout the spine. It is basically another closed-loop circulatory system. Well, one of the places that fluid collects and then drains out of got sort of clogged (due to swelling from her injuries) and the fluid started to build up.
When the fluid started to build up, the pressure started to build. This compressed very important control areas of her middle brain (specifically, the ones that control the heart) and it caused the heart to go a little wild.
So..with the procedure done she's stabilizing back again. She is still currently in a coma and on ventilator assistance. She is once again starting to breath spontaneously, but they have the ventilator doing the major work. So, she is starting to improve in that respect and will probably come very slowly out of the coma.
Now...hard part...very hard part. That being said...There is a very good chance that she won't come out of the coma at all. It is a very real possibility and I sit here holding my breath that she does. I have been forced to face many realities sitting here across the room from my precious daughter, and that is one of them that I (and we) cannot presently escape.
Its all up to her...and always has been.
I hope everyone out there is keeping the best thoughts coming towards her. She believes as I do that we are all in touch through our right consciousness. I firmly believe that if sent positive loving thoughts that she will receive them directly from you. I know I have felt many of them sent my way as well today, and are so very much appreciated.
K
What had happened is that your brain circulates this fluid all around and through little chambers in the brain and throughout the spine. It is basically another closed-loop circulatory system. Well, one of the places that fluid collects and then drains out of got sort of clogged (due to swelling from her injuries) and the fluid started to build up.
When the fluid started to build up, the pressure started to build. This compressed very important control areas of her middle brain (specifically, the ones that control the heart) and it caused the heart to go a little wild.
So..with the procedure done she's stabilizing back again. She is still currently in a coma and on ventilator assistance. She is once again starting to breath spontaneously, but they have the ventilator doing the major work. So, she is starting to improve in that respect and will probably come very slowly out of the coma.
Now...hard part...very hard part. That being said...There is a very good chance that she won't come out of the coma at all. It is a very real possibility and I sit here holding my breath that she does. I have been forced to face many realities sitting here across the room from my precious daughter, and that is one of them that I (and we) cannot presently escape.
Its all up to her...and always has been.
I hope everyone out there is keeping the best thoughts coming towards her. She believes as I do that we are all in touch through our right consciousness. I firmly believe that if sent positive loving thoughts that she will receive them directly from you. I know I have felt many of them sent my way as well today, and are so very much appreciated.
K
Settling down...
So nice...her brother Andrew has come by to see her. She's settled nicely now and seems to be resting. He's so sweet and gentle with her. I know that although they aren't really close, that she does love him and has told me before that she missed talking to him periodically.
(He's the grown son of her fathers wife...but he was a teenager when Tracy and Denise met.)
I think i'm going to rest a bit myself and radiate a sense of ease.
Thank you to Dr. Immel and his family for the balloon arrangement. I'm going to make sure she sees it before I leave, but take it home with me.
FYI - the ICU staff requests that people do not send anything to patients, as personal items can get in the way during emergencies.
Send her good thoughts and unconditional love.
Kristina
(He's the grown son of her fathers wife...but he was a teenager when Tracy and Denise met.)
I think i'm going to rest a bit myself and radiate a sense of ease.
Thank you to Dr. Immel and his family for the balloon arrangement. I'm going to make sure she sees it before I leave, but take it home with me.
FYI - the ICU staff requests that people do not send anything to patients, as personal items can get in the way during emergencies.
Send her good thoughts and unconditional love.
Kristina
Results of CT scan
Sara has a buildup of fluid in her brain due to the swelling of her brain from the injury. This needs to be drained and kept from building up again.
Her CT Angiogram showed that her vessels in her head are still open and she's getting good oxygenated blood to the important parts. Dr. Ghe (the NeuroVascular Surgeon) was happy to see that no new damage had shown up and that existing damage did not appear to worsen.
The plan: Neurosurgery will come and put a shunt into her head that will drain the excess fluid. This is a common procedure that sounds worse than it is. Once that is in she should stabilize and start to come back awake.
Currently she is in a coma due to the fluid and pressure buildup.
I will be here until after her procedure and fluid is drained off. I want to make sure I leave her tonight in the same condition she was in this morning - communicating with me and happily listening to my ipod.
I'll keep you posted. K
Her CT Angiogram showed that her vessels in her head are still open and she's getting good oxygenated blood to the important parts. Dr. Ghe (the NeuroVascular Surgeon) was happy to see that no new damage had shown up and that existing damage did not appear to worsen.
The plan: Neurosurgery will come and put a shunt into her head that will drain the excess fluid. This is a common procedure that sounds worse than it is. Once that is in she should stabilize and start to come back awake.
Currently she is in a coma due to the fluid and pressure buildup.
I will be here until after her procedure and fluid is drained off. I want to make sure I leave her tonight in the same condition she was in this morning - communicating with me and happily listening to my ipod.
I'll keep you posted. K
Some news.
First things first. Sara is still alive.
Mom called me around 2pm or so with some news.
Sara coded (died) but the doctors were able to bring her back. Since then, from what I gathered, her blood pressure has been reciprocating up and down a lot, so they're trying to stabilize it before they send her down to scan (probably MRI) and find out what's wrong with her.
-Michael
Mom Note: Her code was not a stopped heart. Her heart was wildly racing and beating irregularly on one side (ventricular tachychardia). Her blood pressure shot up so high we were worried she would have a stroke. She was sent to CT scan, not MRI.
Mom called me around 2pm or so with some news.
Sara coded (died) but the doctors were able to bring her back. Since then, from what I gathered, her blood pressure has been reciprocating up and down a lot, so they're trying to stabilize it before they send her down to scan (probably MRI) and find out what's wrong with her.
-Michael
Mom Note: Her code was not a stopped heart. Her heart was wildly racing and beating irregularly on one side (ventricular tachychardia). Her blood pressure shot up so high we were worried she would have a stroke. She was sent to CT scan, not MRI.
Plan for today - Monday 10/29
Sara seems to have had a nice quiet night. She got a little agitated and they gave her something to calm her and let her rest. I can only imagine what she is going through.
She has a great nurse today, Jan. She's really experienced and is very like minded with me about the kind of environment I want around her. Emanate calm..don't fuss..let the girl rest...but watch for her to initiate communication if she can...and engage her when it is obvious that she is awake and participating.
We had a horrid situation this morning - not with her or her health, but with one of her doctors. He took it upon himself to try and convince me to "let her go". He said he would not want to be in this state (Locked In Syndrome). He persisted in trying to convince me that it was what she would want, not even knowing what that is.
Well, long story short - Sara and I (and Michael) have talked about our wishes given different scenarios. Those scenarios being permanent coma (persistent unconsciousness) or vegetative state (unconscious/unaware). Those are completely different states, and polar opposite of where she is. She is Locked In - FULLY aware and awake, but not able to get her body to move meaningfully with the exception of her eyes. Other areas do move (her eyelids, extremities, turns her head slightly.)
So...they want to make sure I am abiding with her wishes and since we haven't talked about this specific wishes they have assumed that I am not. Well, that is not the case. She has been asked. I told her that they asked me if I wanted to sign a DNR (do not resuscitate) and that I didn't think she wanted that right now. that she wanted to go ahead and fight. I asked her if i did right and she responded "yes". Know this...we are in uncharted territory here, but I am doing everything I can to ensure that she is in control of her destiny.
That doctor, who has now been fired from her case and reported to the hospital administration, was so wrong to force his opinion on her situation. While I appreciate all the input that I get from every source, in the end it is Sara's decision. And in the absence of her ability to make that decision, it is mine.
Now...lightening this up a bit.
Let me tell you about she and I "talking" this morning...it makes me smile replaying it in my head...
Mom: Hi Sara, Mom's here. I'm going to stay with you today and sit here and work. I don't want to bug you if you're resting..so if you want me to interact with you give me some movement.
Sara: tensed arms and shoulders, extended fists
Mom: Sara, I'm going to open your eyes. Do you want to try and open your eyes for Mom?
Sara: Cracked eyes
Mom: (opened eyes for her) Hey Baby Girl. (focusing)
Mom Note: I stopped this entry when she started to code. I refused to leave her room and sat and watched an amazing staff work like a hive of bees helping Sara. I just sat and cried, watched her face, and told her that I was here and she was ok, it was ok. I'm not going to finish the entry about our interchange this morning. at this point I just lose it...until I can see those beautiful blue eyes again talking to me...
She has a great nurse today, Jan. She's really experienced and is very like minded with me about the kind of environment I want around her. Emanate calm..don't fuss..let the girl rest...but watch for her to initiate communication if she can...and engage her when it is obvious that she is awake and participating.
We had a horrid situation this morning - not with her or her health, but with one of her doctors. He took it upon himself to try and convince me to "let her go". He said he would not want to be in this state (Locked In Syndrome). He persisted in trying to convince me that it was what she would want, not even knowing what that is.
Well, long story short - Sara and I (and Michael) have talked about our wishes given different scenarios. Those scenarios being permanent coma (persistent unconsciousness) or vegetative state (unconscious/unaware). Those are completely different states, and polar opposite of where she is. She is Locked In - FULLY aware and awake, but not able to get her body to move meaningfully with the exception of her eyes. Other areas do move (her eyelids, extremities, turns her head slightly.)
So...they want to make sure I am abiding with her wishes and since we haven't talked about this specific wishes they have assumed that I am not. Well, that is not the case. She has been asked. I told her that they asked me if I wanted to sign a DNR (do not resuscitate) and that I didn't think she wanted that right now. that she wanted to go ahead and fight. I asked her if i did right and she responded "yes". Know this...we are in uncharted territory here, but I am doing everything I can to ensure that she is in control of her destiny.
That doctor, who has now been fired from her case and reported to the hospital administration, was so wrong to force his opinion on her situation. While I appreciate all the input that I get from every source, in the end it is Sara's decision. And in the absence of her ability to make that decision, it is mine.
Now...lightening this up a bit.
Let me tell you about she and I "talking" this morning...it makes me smile replaying it in my head...
Mom: Hi Sara, Mom's here. I'm going to stay with you today and sit here and work. I don't want to bug you if you're resting..so if you want me to interact with you give me some movement.
Sara: tensed arms and shoulders, extended fists
Mom: Sara, I'm going to open your eyes. Do you want to try and open your eyes for Mom?
Sara: Cracked eyes
Mom: (opened eyes for her) Hey Baby Girl. (focusing)
Mom Note: I stopped this entry when she started to code. I refused to leave her room and sat and watched an amazing staff work like a hive of bees helping Sara. I just sat and cried, watched her face, and told her that I was here and she was ok, it was ok. I'm not going to finish the entry about our interchange this morning. at this point I just lose it...until I can see those beautiful blue eyes again talking to me...
Update - Sunday
Its hard to keep up with blogging - so forgive delays in information.
Sara's father Tracy was at the hospital this morning. He reported that she was opening her eyes slightly for him and tracking him. Always great to see because that is improvement over yesterday and is definately purposeful movement.
None of you know Tracy, but he is the textbook sceptic. While he has heard and seen that Sara is indeed conscious and aware and communicating, he needs to check and be sure. I understand that and don't fault him at all. He asked her some yes or no questions, getting answers but directly opposite of what he expected. So, for the mean time he thinks she's "reversed". That is, when she thinks she is saying "yes" she is actually saying "no". I told him I am not worried about this right now because I tell her no movement is no, any movement is yes. I did this because I've read that it is so tiring for people with Locked In Syndrome to communicate early on and get so tired. Also, the doctors told us that she may get a little worse before starting to get better at communicating. This would be due to her brain swelling at the site of her injury.
All this sounds grim - and honestly, it is right now. She didn't die in the accident (for which i am so selfishly grateful) but this is a very hard place to be as well.
A few things we have learned so far though:
1. Sara is IN that body. Her brain is just damaged in the area that connects the part of her that tells the body what to do on purpose.
2. Sara is a fighter and wants to fight. She knows she's really hurt. There have been times the last few days that she could have slipped away if she wanted to go, but she didn't. She agreed with me when I did not sign a do not resuscitate order. I told her that if she wants to fight, we will fight this with her.
3. Research on her injuries and prognosis and this and that will make you insane. There is such a WIDE range of recovery experiences that we can't figure out what to expect. There are so many variables that we don't know where to start. We are all wanting to know, get something definitive to grab onto and work from. With this syndrome, there truly isn't any.
4. Truly, how far she will recover is up to her. That being said, it is a little soon to be looking at recovery. She is still healing from her other injuries and from the stroke itself. And, when recovery starts, it is going to be a LONG hard road for her. I'm lacing up my shoes and getting ready to be with her every step...I know quite a few people are. She's going to take us on a journey...
...I'm so tired right now. Please forgive just trailing off at this point. She has surgery tomorrow and I want to be there.
Sara's father Tracy was at the hospital this morning. He reported that she was opening her eyes slightly for him and tracking him. Always great to see because that is improvement over yesterday and is definately purposeful movement.
None of you know Tracy, but he is the textbook sceptic. While he has heard and seen that Sara is indeed conscious and aware and communicating, he needs to check and be sure. I understand that and don't fault him at all. He asked her some yes or no questions, getting answers but directly opposite of what he expected. So, for the mean time he thinks she's "reversed". That is, when she thinks she is saying "yes" she is actually saying "no". I told him I am not worried about this right now because I tell her no movement is no, any movement is yes. I did this because I've read that it is so tiring for people with Locked In Syndrome to communicate early on and get so tired. Also, the doctors told us that she may get a little worse before starting to get better at communicating. This would be due to her brain swelling at the site of her injury.
All this sounds grim - and honestly, it is right now. She didn't die in the accident (for which i am so selfishly grateful) but this is a very hard place to be as well.
A few things we have learned so far though:
1. Sara is IN that body. Her brain is just damaged in the area that connects the part of her that tells the body what to do on purpose.
2. Sara is a fighter and wants to fight. She knows she's really hurt. There have been times the last few days that she could have slipped away if she wanted to go, but she didn't. She agreed with me when I did not sign a do not resuscitate order. I told her that if she wants to fight, we will fight this with her.
3. Research on her injuries and prognosis and this and that will make you insane. There is such a WIDE range of recovery experiences that we can't figure out what to expect. There are so many variables that we don't know where to start. We are all wanting to know, get something definitive to grab onto and work from. With this syndrome, there truly isn't any.
4. Truly, how far she will recover is up to her. That being said, it is a little soon to be looking at recovery. She is still healing from her other injuries and from the stroke itself. And, when recovery starts, it is going to be a LONG hard road for her. I'm lacing up my shoes and getting ready to be with her every step...I know quite a few people are. She's going to take us on a journey...
...I'm so tired right now. Please forgive just trailing off at this point. She has surgery tomorrow and I want to be there.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
My (Michael's) Updates.
As some of you might know, I've been updating people on Sara's condition through several webforums. I figure that since we now have a dedicated place for such things, I should post my updates here.
These posts are in chronological order, the first of which I wrote on Wednesday (the day of the accident) and the last of which was written last night.
Post 1:
"Just so you guys know, I might not be here for a while. My sister got in a car accident. I'll keep you posted."
Post 2:
"Well, we know what happened. Luckily my sister isn't at fault and nobody else was injured. Here's the story: She went to go change lanes, began moving over, you know, the usuaul. She was about to get hit by sombody in the lane she was going to enter, so she swerved and overcompensated, the car fishtailed and she went off the right side of the road, the car went into a ditch and rolled over then caught fire, knocking her unconcious.
Luckily her car is a tank -- even though it has no airbags (but the paramedics said that airbags wouldn'tve helped anyways) but her pillars were strong enough to support the car long enough for the rescue people to get her out of the car and into an ambulance. When she got here she was pretty beat up, no real broken bones that we know of aside from a slight cranial fracture. When she showed up at the hospital she had an altered mentality, and she was subdued to prevent complications.
I know other details but I would really rather not share most of them. the good news is that she just got out of the MRI and should be headed to the ICU now, so she's still alive."
Post 3:
"Throughout the night, her condition has gotten worse. She's still alive, but here's the story. Due to the head injury, the hospital staff sedated her while she was in the ICU at Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital, letting up the sedation medication every hour or so to see if she has become more responsive. I don't know when it happened, but I basically just got the news (not more than 10 minutes ago) that when they last lightened the dose of the meds, she didn't respond to anything (whereas before she responded to pain). They ran a scan on her and found a blood clot in her brain, however they can't perform the surgery like normal due to her other conditions. It would kill her.
As I type this, my sister is in a transport helicopter on her way to the UC Davis medical center, where there's a doctor that will be able to perform a very complicated surgery (going through veins and stuff) to clear that blood clot. Assuming she lives, chances are fairly high that she will be permanently mentally damaged, perhaps even to the point of retardation. I swear to god on a stack of bibles, though, that if I could find whatever fuckwit came behind her on the freeway and made her swerve, I would put my foot so fucking far up their god damned ass they'll be eating my fucking toes.
I'm not making any of this up, either. Sara's car is really totalled and she's really in a helicopter right now going to Davis. It's just shocking that something like this hit so close to home, not only for me but also for all of us, as I'm sure most, if not all, of you know Sara, and she went to Tech High as well. As I'm writing this I'm trying to suppress my tears really badly, but it's really hard to think that my only living sibling may end up being mentally retarded for the rest of her life or even dead."
Post 4:
"My sister's still being operated on at UC Davis, but there's some wonderful news: She's responsive. The doctors lightened up her meds to do the surgery and as they've got more of the blood clot out she's opened up her eyes and tried to hit one of them (which is totally something Sara would do in this sort of situation, not because she doesn't like doctors, but because it's probably a shock to have strange people poking around inside her), so obviously my sister's still alive and kicking (literally?) I'll be headed over to the UC Davis medical soon. I'll keep you updated."
Post 5:
"I am sitting at the UC Davis medical center right now. Sara is out of surgery now and moving, too. The doctors are doing another CT scan that should be done in about 45 minutes. The scan is so they can see if she has developed another clot. Also, thank you all for the tremendous support. I appreciate it."
Post 6:
"Just got home from the medical center.
The good news:
My sister's become more responsive. Poking her ear, rubbing her shoulders, touching her and talking to her make her eyes move (Although they're still closed), but she is responding. Also, we talked to her and she began to tear up. This is all very good news. Basically now she's just asleep. The respirator isn't helping her as much as her nervous system has taken back over, and as I said she's responding to sensory inputs.
On a somewhat related note, I visited my school today. The amount of support I saw was amazing and I was actually shocked. The entire school knows (my sister is a former student there) and they all know her too, and most of them are on good terms with me. I didn't even get three feet from my car before a crowd of ~10-15 people basically mauled me with hugs. It was simply amazing.
The bad (but not extremely so) news:
I almost got hit in a car accident on the way home. I don't even completely remember what happened but I know it involved a big rig stopping abruptly in the lane next to us and my dad getting us away just before the traler hit us. Somebody else wasn't as fortunate and ran into the back of the truck then got hit again from the back, their car was totalled but they were fine. My dad called the police and helped the guy who got hit to get his car off of the freeway (and almost got hit 4 times in the process), and then we were on our way. But man, that shook me up bad. I had to walk it off kind of bad. Had my dad not reacted as abruptly as he did, and I wouldn't be talking to you all now (I'd be alive, but probably at some hospital or something). So despite being a little shook up, I'm still alive and well. But god damn, it feels like the world is coming down all around me. First my sister and today, almost me, too.
Now if you will all excuse me, I am going to go take a long, hot shower, and go to sleep. God knows I deserve it."
Post 7:
"Oh god. We found out something.
She's not been in a coma. She never was. She's what the doctors call "Trapped In", where her brain can think just fine and her body is fine but the two can't communicate well. The portion of her brain that had the clot ended up having a stroke so she can't control some parts of her body.
Now, the real problem here is this:
Nobody has any idea where to go from here. It could get better, it could get worse or it could stay the same. What's worse is if she doesn't change her condition. She can't speak, they only know that she's in there by telling her to move her eye up for yes and down for no then asking her yes and no questions. The doctors did that and she got all but one or two questions right about what happened over the past two days. As you can probably imagine (and I can only), She's probably terrified because she does know that she's not well and she does know what's going on.
So there's a few different paths from here. The part of the brain that had a stroke might not be dead. If it isn't, bringing her into a drug induced coma so the brain can rest would be the most reasonable option, and speed her recovery greatly. If that part of the brain IS dead, it'll take a lot of time to get her to the point where we can even care for her outside of the hospital.
Because she can answer yes or no questions, my mom asked the doctors to ask Sara the following question:
"If you stay like this (this being the "trapped in" dealio), would you want to stay alive?"
Now, My mom does NOT have to do what my sister says, however my mom has told me that if Sara does not want to live, she will not force her.
All this is very hard to cope with, to be honest. She's heard everything. She's felt everything. She's thinking normally, but can't move most of her body. Kind of like being covered in saran wrap.
What we're looking at here could be such a broad array of things that for the most part I can't even imagine what it's like for her. On one end of the spectrum, she might prove everybody wrong and make a full recovery (although it's nigh impossible due to the stroke). She could end up getting to the point where my mom could care for her at home. She could end up staying just like she is now, needing life support to stay alive, or she could end up dead. I'll be completely honest here, too.
For her sake, I don't know which one would be best. Thank god I'm not at liberty to decide, because I wouldn't be able to."
These posts are in chronological order, the first of which I wrote on Wednesday (the day of the accident) and the last of which was written last night.
Post 1:
"Just so you guys know, I might not be here for a while. My sister got in a car accident. I'll keep you posted."
Post 2:
"Well, we know what happened. Luckily my sister isn't at fault and nobody else was injured. Here's the story: She went to go change lanes, began moving over, you know, the usuaul. She was about to get hit by sombody in the lane she was going to enter, so she swerved and overcompensated, the car fishtailed and she went off the right side of the road, the car went into a ditch and rolled over then caught fire, knocking her unconcious.
Luckily her car is a tank -- even though it has no airbags (but the paramedics said that airbags wouldn'tve helped anyways) but her pillars were strong enough to support the car long enough for the rescue people to get her out of the car and into an ambulance. When she got here she was pretty beat up, no real broken bones that we know of aside from a slight cranial fracture. When she showed up at the hospital she had an altered mentality, and she was subdued to prevent complications.
I know other details but I would really rather not share most of them. the good news is that she just got out of the MRI and should be headed to the ICU now, so she's still alive."
Post 3:
"Throughout the night, her condition has gotten worse. She's still alive, but here's the story. Due to the head injury, the hospital staff sedated her while she was in the ICU at Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital, letting up the sedation medication every hour or so to see if she has become more responsive. I don't know when it happened, but I basically just got the news (not more than 10 minutes ago) that when they last lightened the dose of the meds, she didn't respond to anything (whereas before she responded to pain). They ran a scan on her and found a blood clot in her brain, however they can't perform the surgery like normal due to her other conditions. It would kill her.
As I type this, my sister is in a transport helicopter on her way to the UC Davis medical center, where there's a doctor that will be able to perform a very complicated surgery (going through veins and stuff) to clear that blood clot. Assuming she lives, chances are fairly high that she will be permanently mentally damaged, perhaps even to the point of retardation. I swear to god on a stack of bibles, though, that if I could find whatever fuckwit came behind her on the freeway and made her swerve, I would put my foot so fucking far up their god damned ass they'll be eating my fucking toes.
I'm not making any of this up, either. Sara's car is really totalled and she's really in a helicopter right now going to Davis. It's just shocking that something like this hit so close to home, not only for me but also for all of us, as I'm sure most, if not all, of you know Sara, and she went to Tech High as well. As I'm writing this I'm trying to suppress my tears really badly, but it's really hard to think that my only living sibling may end up being mentally retarded for the rest of her life or even dead."
Post 4:
"My sister's still being operated on at UC Davis, but there's some wonderful news: She's responsive. The doctors lightened up her meds to do the surgery and as they've got more of the blood clot out she's opened up her eyes and tried to hit one of them (which is totally something Sara would do in this sort of situation, not because she doesn't like doctors, but because it's probably a shock to have strange people poking around inside her), so obviously my sister's still alive and kicking (literally?) I'll be headed over to the UC Davis medical soon. I'll keep you updated."
Post 5:
"I am sitting at the UC Davis medical center right now. Sara is out of surgery now and moving, too. The doctors are doing another CT scan that should be done in about 45 minutes. The scan is so they can see if she has developed another clot. Also, thank you all for the tremendous support. I appreciate it."
Post 6:
"Just got home from the medical center.
The good news:
My sister's become more responsive. Poking her ear, rubbing her shoulders, touching her and talking to her make her eyes move (Although they're still closed), but she is responding. Also, we talked to her and she began to tear up. This is all very good news. Basically now she's just asleep. The respirator isn't helping her as much as her nervous system has taken back over, and as I said she's responding to sensory inputs.
On a somewhat related note, I visited my school today. The amount of support I saw was amazing and I was actually shocked. The entire school knows (my sister is a former student there) and they all know her too, and most of them are on good terms with me. I didn't even get three feet from my car before a crowd of ~10-15 people basically mauled me with hugs. It was simply amazing.
The bad (but not extremely so) news:
I almost got hit in a car accident on the way home. I don't even completely remember what happened but I know it involved a big rig stopping abruptly in the lane next to us and my dad getting us away just before the traler hit us. Somebody else wasn't as fortunate and ran into the back of the truck then got hit again from the back, their car was totalled but they were fine. My dad called the police and helped the guy who got hit to get his car off of the freeway (and almost got hit 4 times in the process), and then we were on our way. But man, that shook me up bad. I had to walk it off kind of bad. Had my dad not reacted as abruptly as he did, and I wouldn't be talking to you all now (I'd be alive, but probably at some hospital or something). So despite being a little shook up, I'm still alive and well. But god damn, it feels like the world is coming down all around me. First my sister and today, almost me, too.
Now if you will all excuse me, I am going to go take a long, hot shower, and go to sleep. God knows I deserve it."
Post 7:
"Oh god. We found out something.
She's not been in a coma. She never was. She's what the doctors call "Trapped In", where her brain can think just fine and her body is fine but the two can't communicate well. The portion of her brain that had the clot ended up having a stroke so she can't control some parts of her body.
Now, the real problem here is this:
Nobody has any idea where to go from here. It could get better, it could get worse or it could stay the same. What's worse is if she doesn't change her condition. She can't speak, they only know that she's in there by telling her to move her eye up for yes and down for no then asking her yes and no questions. The doctors did that and she got all but one or two questions right about what happened over the past two days. As you can probably imagine (and I can only), She's probably terrified because she does know that she's not well and she does know what's going on.
So there's a few different paths from here. The part of the brain that had a stroke might not be dead. If it isn't, bringing her into a drug induced coma so the brain can rest would be the most reasonable option, and speed her recovery greatly. If that part of the brain IS dead, it'll take a lot of time to get her to the point where we can even care for her outside of the hospital.
Because she can answer yes or no questions, my mom asked the doctors to ask Sara the following question:
"If you stay like this (this being the "trapped in" dealio), would you want to stay alive?"
Now, My mom does NOT have to do what my sister says, however my mom has told me that if Sara does not want to live, she will not force her.
All this is very hard to cope with, to be honest. She's heard everything. She's felt everything. She's thinking normally, but can't move most of her body. Kind of like being covered in saran wrap.
What we're looking at here could be such a broad array of things that for the most part I can't even imagine what it's like for her. On one end of the spectrum, she might prove everybody wrong and make a full recovery (although it's nigh impossible due to the stroke). She could end up getting to the point where my mom could care for her at home. She could end up staying just like she is now, needing life support to stay alive, or she could end up dead. I'll be completely honest here, too.
For her sake, I don't know which one would be best. Thank god I'm not at liberty to decide, because I wouldn't be able to."
Friday, October 26, 2007
Current Condition - 10/26 10:30am
Sara remains listed in critical condition at this time. She is still in a coma and does not respond very quickly to pain (they have to do it...)
The Neurosurgery doctors have ordered another MRI. This should show us if there is something else inside her brain, like another clot, or visible bleeding or other damage. Due to the type of injury she has we may see nothing abnormal on the MRI. In that case, we just have to wait. Fighting out of coma is her only job right now.
Anybody who knows Sara knows she's up for a fight.
The Neurosurgery doctors have ordered another MRI. This should show us if there is something else inside her brain, like another clot, or visible bleeding or other damage. Due to the type of injury she has we may see nothing abnormal on the MRI. In that case, we just have to wait. Fighting out of coma is her only job right now.
Anybody who knows Sara knows she's up for a fight.
Hope this helps...
Everyone wants to know how Sara is...my phone is ringing off the hook. I have tried to update everyone, but I really need to spend my time with her.
So...to that end...I hope everyone understands. I will only be able to call back certain people - her father, her brother and her boyfriend. Everyone else I hope you understand and get your updates from here or one of them.
Thanks.
Kristina
So...to that end...I hope everyone understands. I will only be able to call back certain people - her father, her brother and her boyfriend. Everyone else I hope you understand and get your updates from here or one of them.
Thanks.
Kristina
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
