''Sometimes, evil drives a mini van.''

there really is a lot of weird shit for kids

I remember ''I'm not touching you''

we worry about obesity, but people go and invent shit to keep fat people fat

guess who has her trach out?

Has a "button" in place. Closes off the opening, but allows us to suction her in an emergency. In this picture she's getting a little oxygen via the nose fangs...since she hates them up her nose we just hook them to her chin. Her oxygen fangs.
She looks a little bewildered because this was the first day breathing nose and mouth in almost two years. Taking a lot of work and learning.

Forwarded Emails

OMG...please do NOT send Sara an email that has been forwarded or that has multiple recipients. Her computer reads every single address and name out loud and it just goes on and on and on...It was kind of funny the first time...

Thanks.

I actually got my breathing tube out the other day. I am breathing through my mouth and nose like a normal person.

I really don't get why guys fantasize about 2 girls. I don't think it is common for a woman to fantasize about 2 men.

I am not ''special'' but I'm special.

wow, what are the chances a cheetah will jump on your car and poop in it via the sunroof?

I wonder if Cash Cab is the only van taxi in New York. I doubt it.

I doubt Jesus spoke English

early medicine (like in the 1600's) was down right cruel

honestly I like stuff that debunks the bible

when 2 men or 2 women ballroom dance, who leads?

I am like the goddess of patience

I imagine astronauts in space have constant vertigo because the lack of gravity

it really doesn't make sense to call it a lunch ''hour'' when it's only 30 minutes.

fuck. the face huggers in aliens give me the heeby jeebies

if there really is a god he has a twisted sense of humor

it really is amazing just how tenetious life is. Not necessarily humans, but like bacteria & stuff.

I didn't know the President has to authorize a nucleur strike. makes sense

the white part of the eye is called the sclera

My favourite movie (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) really is an eclectic movie

who actually invented the pencil?

rocket quad

curling really is a ridiculous sport

Hey, I just thought of something. What if the gravitational pull of the planet was suddenly reversed, if you weren't indoors or firmly attached to the ground (like a tree) you'd be completely screwed.

we are technically always time travelling

(book) It's ironic that my mom tells me to be quiet (jokingly) because I technicality haven't spoken a word in 2 years.

I think it would be despicable and wrong to fake a pregnancy. Besides, it would be pretty obvious after a distinct lack of baby

MY UTERUS CONQUERS ALL

resistance is futile

flying spaghetti monster

Common knowledge my ass. I don't usually know the answer. I still love it though. (Cash Cab)

I may be flop, but I am not dumb

oink

I have ovaries, wanna fight about it?

why do doctors want you to say ah?

I wonder why we keep coming up with ways to destroy the planet. I don't know about the rest of you, but I like the Earth.

in a parallel universe i am probably not flop

I'm in your macaronis, warmin' my feets.

''poop'' really is a silly word.

hydra cortisone is a god send. I imagine if you get poison ivy you just wanna soak in a tub full of it.

I miss Daniel

I wonder if there are any areas of the planet we haven't explored

I think the pressure at the bottom of the miriana trench would instantly crush you if you weren't in a sub

I wonder if Darwin knew his theories would still hold water a couple hundred years later

I wonder if the symbol for a good idea was a torch before the light bulb was invented

Elvis is in my belly button

flues

after swine and avian flus, I wouldn't be surprised if there were bovine and equine flus

we may have evolved in to ''hairless apes'' but a fair few of us are really hairy

I don't know what astigmatism is

the moon helps protect us. it catches stuff that could wipe us out

obama is the whitest black man i have ever seen

actually I can have ice-cream and cheese I can't have milk and yogurt

new york and planes are no

I know Tae Kwon Do (South Korea) & Capoira (Brazil).

who's on the 100 dollar bill?

quack

It's interesting, even though we're the smartest creatures on the planet some idiots still get eaten by bears.

it would be funny if we managed to vacuum up a nurse

what is the difference between good and bad cholesterol? I don't remember.

it is definitely cheaper to choke down a salad and go for a run then get surgery

it really sounds like it is easier to just take care of yourself in the first place then go back and get surgery later

baby cage

they are single handedly causing over population

18 kids is too damn much

I wonder about weird shit all the time

I wonder if blind or deaf people dream that they can see or hear.

I think it is actually bad for you to stay too clean, because you wouldn't be able to fight off the stuff we come in contact with all the time and build up immunities

I wonder if all siblings fight a lot as kids but get along as adults (such is the case with me & my brother).

I know Pluto isn't considered a planet anymore.

it takes like 5 months for a radio signal to reach Pluto

we process terabytes of information even in sleep

I think it is very highly unlikely any aliens speak English

my freckles are all gone

I am the walrus

(I learned this like 10 years ago) This land is my land, only my land, I got a shotgun & you don't got one. If you don't get off, I'll blow your head off. This land is private property!

aren't scorpions considered aracnids?

Just how big is the known universe?

I think we might end up like the movie Idiocrocy, if shows like Jerry Springer & Steve Wilkos are any indication.

I know the sex organs mature in puberty, but do we actually grow any new organs after we're born?

it takes a really really long time to light a fire without matches or a lighter

Get in the choppa!

before long our very thoughts could be stolen (I was watching a commercial about identity theft).

I forget, why is swine flu a big deal?

the progressive lady is too damn perky

I win at life. I made Michael lose the Game because of something I did a couple of years ago.

anybody on acid would have been tripping balls (the light show during half time in the super bowl)

I haven't been out of the country

I think we are the only country on the planet that uses our national anthem at every available opportunity

dude if I had physic abilities that'd be AWESOME

there are some jobs that mean you fail at life

if somebody is wilting to commit murder what's to say they wouldn't commit purjery?

I think it would be really funny but probably really mean to chase the dogs with the shop vac

water plus electricity equals no

water plus electricity equals no

water plus electricity equals no

it makes absolutely no sense when obese people get electric wheelchairs.

earthquakes really aren't that bad hurricanes and tornados can fucking KILL YOU

native daughters of the golden west

native daughters of the golden west

native daughters of the golden west

I know red blood is rich in iron. What elements would change it, & to what colour?

So, here's the Earth. Round.

So, here's the Earth. Round.

I wonder if anybody actually keeps gloves in in their glove box

most things just sting or bite in one place but jelly fish can sting all over

most things just sting or bite in one place but jelly fish can sting all over

Are there any bigger (real) # than 999 quadrilllion 999 trillion 999 billion 999 million 999 thousand 999?

What is the definition of gnick gnacks? I know generally what they are, but I wonder what the actual dictionary definition is.

What is the definition of gnick gnacks? I know generally what they are, but I wonder what the actual dictionary definition is.

What is the definition of gnick gnacks? I know generally what they are, but I wonder what the actual dictionary definition is.

What is the definition of gnick gnacks? I know generally what they are, but I wonder what the actual dictionary definition is.

What is the definition of gnick gnacks? I know generally what they are, but I wonder what the actual dictionary definition is.