you NEVER walk directly behind a horse
swamp beaver sounds like a bad horror film
I don't really feel like a grown up yet
eating bird babies is delicious
''You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain.'' (The Dark Knight)
good rule of thumb don't date somebody young enough to be your child or old enough to be your parent
I guess parents can sometimes choose their children but children rarely can choose their parents
child fund commercials are a big guilt trip
the most valuable resource anybody has is their brain so they should take care of it
why would anybody in their right mind ask a stranger to move their car (watching Bait Car).
geico has clever commercials
I love Denny's. You can get a burger at, like, 2 in the morning
I am proud to be an American but some people take it too far
there are a few cartoons I liked as a kid I like again as an adult
I don't like bear grilles i think he is a jack ass
no one looks hot with braces. Maybe *after* they get taken off, but not before
any body who is willing to cheat once will probably do it again if they can get away with it (watching Jerry Springer).
It's really funny when the guys swear up and down that they love a woman but do a 180 when they find out she is a he
if you need to go on tv to find out who the father is you have been sleeping with too many people
I think we are the exception not the rule in the universe
the dogs set off the ducks
QUAD just sittin', watchin' t.v.
Yanno what's actually pretty b****in'? Tomagaci.
''I would rather spend my life close to the birds then waste it wishing I had wings.''
I honestly think it is better to be intelligent and flop then amnesia and not flop.
''Life is too short to spend it complaining.''
the ducks are my beloved pets
what do blown pupils mean. I know its bad but I don't know why
what is the freezing temperature of salt water
they are a non migratory species. It would just break my heart if they flew away and never came back
any dog that can be drop kicked over a fence isn't a dog
old cell phones are bricks
I miss being independent.
the land lord is an a**hole
going on Jerry Springer adds insult to injury
going on Jerry Springer adds insult to injury
going on Jerry Springer adds insult to injury
if you manage to kill a pet rock you should never have kids
it is really no if a family tree doesn't branch
I think a kilometre is about 3200 ft.
tron was awesome but the 3D was underwhelming
I am a big pile of gross and I'm O.K. with that.
geese are the spawn of Satan
if a quad flops in the forest, does it make a sound?
I love Jerry Springer because it is a train wreck
you can dance if you want to you can leave your friends behind cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine
I would eat my foot before going on Jerry Springer
dog alarm is better then any commercial security system
Can an adult even fit in a dog house? I doubt it.
''It's 4 a.m. Do you know where your penis is?''
idiot plus fire equals no
It doesn't make sense to pay $10 for 2 $2 bills
how the hell does a keg stand even work? vacuum pressure?
