Happy Smiles

Sara has had quite an eventful couple of days. All in a good way, mind you.

Her high school robotics team had a fundraiser pasta feed last night and I asked her earlier in the week if she was ready to get out and see people again. She gave me an emphatic yes blink and when I asked her if she was sure she gave me a very long yes blink. I think the girl was truly ready.

So yesterday I raced home from working late, wrestled her into actual clothes, packed her and her gear into the truck and off we went. I have to say, that it was not the most organized move, and certainly not graceful, but I got her there (and back.) Note to self: must look into wheelchair van...

She looked great. Her face was beaming, her eyes sparkling. She smiled and laughed at seeing familiar and happy faces. The first face she shined for was Dr. Immel. As soon as she saw him she started moving her head and laughing. Then she saw Mr. Weaver and soon many faces, known and new, were coming to greet her. We tried to stay as low key as possible, but that's hardly possible after everything that has gone on and wheeling a giggling quadriplegic around the room.

We took up a place near one of the walls, so I could plug in her speech computer. That turned out to be a lost cause, as she had to focus on it to communicate anything and could barely hear anyone talking to her due to the ambient noise in the room. I soon abandoned her even worrying about it and went back to straight blinks and being able to look around and take it all in.

I know it was a lot for her to take in and process. It was even a lot for me. People I didn't even know were coming up and telling her how they've been following her progress, how well she looks, and offering best wishes. Of course, everyone we do know came by and were thrilled to see her out and looking so well and happy. She truly was sparkling and joyous to be there.

And then she got a surprise. Walking up to her was Daniel. He was so surprised to see her out and there. They talked for a few minutes and despite being right there I tried to tune myself into the goings on around the room. It is obvious there continues to be a deep connection between the two of them and I have to trust that they will navigate it however needed. She was genuinely happy to see him and told me later she was surprised when he walked up.

After a little over an hour there I could see that the event (and everything it took to get her there) was starting to show to me. So I grabbed her brother and we hauled her back into the truck. He rode his bike home and helped me get her back out and into bed. She was exhausted and, quite frankly, so was I after all that. But I felt so good that I could do that for her, get her out among friends and things familiar, comforting. It has been over a year since she saw most of those people, or worn actual clothes for that matter, or participated in something other than her own care. It was a very nice time for her and me both.

When I put her to bed I asked her if she was glad we went. A big smile came across her face and then a yes blink. Me, too, I told her. It was so nice to see her so happy.

I kissed her goodnight and closed the door to her room and felt the warm flow of recognition go through me - she has come so far and she's doing alright. She's ready to be back out in the world as she is, and as she continues to fight to overcome this. And she needs that socialization and exposure. And, although there are going to be people who stare, and people who she knows who find it difficult to look at her or find ways to relate to her past her current condition, it is more important that she work towards her goals while still living her life. She's ready. And taking her first step, er, outing, among those who have supported her and grown up with her, witnessed her grow, educated her, and stood with her family and held good thoughts when she was so damaged and sick, was perfect. She was able to be there to help support her brother and robotics and see people she cares about, and they could all see her.

And the pasta wasn't that bad either...