Can you get a dui (dwi) on a motorcycle?

What is the difference between charcoal & regular coal?

get in my belly!

we can't see in complete darkness. Our eyes work by refracting any available light.

capitalist pig dog!

I like to beep

Isn't aft left & starboard right?

green women make no sense

project runway is one of the few girly things i absolutely love

I didn't know laser was an acronym

I think coffee is an acquired taste

what organs can a living donor donate

can you really cause an avalanche by clapping?

I will destroy all with my BRAIN

I bet Bob Saget (is he even still alive?) is a dick.

Why birthday cake? Why not like birthday pie?

In baseball, if somebody goes to like 1st (but for whatever reason the other person won't go to 2nd) who'd be out?

cheetas bark? I didn't know that

I don't understand the point of bottled water. it's basically the same as if you filtered it at home.

huh, apperantly just a little green house effect isn't all bad.

I wonder what would happen if the Matrix crashed

cat fight!

dogs make a better security system then those key pads that emit an annoying tone and call the police

why do those women stay with bad guys? if I was in that situation, I would defend myself (Jerry Springer & Steve Wilkos)

I never actually quite understood what the ''extra virgin'' means in olive oil.

I have learned there is no one proper way to raise a child.

According to Jo (one of my nurses) if I ever started walking again, they'd have to put a Lo Jack on me.

shaq is fuckin' huge

wonder twin powers, activate!

Yanno what I've never heard of? A deaf celebrity.

even though we only see in 180 degrees we hear in 360

Just imagine how big the resulting splash would be if somebody did a belly flop from 50 feet.

''Global Warming'' isn't all bad, though it is a delicate balancing act. Too much, & we burn up (like Venus) but too little & we freeze (like Mars).

I wonder how the letter z became associated with sleep.

Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do!

''The chair'' sounds evil

2 42, hut hut hike!

if kfc had a foot ball team that'd be what

by itself lactose free milk is nasty but it is good on cereal

what do they mean about low and high pressure (in terms of weather).

at what point is a boat big enough to be considered a ship

dance of the sugar plum fairies (plus) turkies (equals) what

For being ''hairless apes'' we are really hairy.

I wonder just how many trillions of gallons of saliva we produce and unwittingly swallow in our entire life

I think if the world is going to end it'll be when the sun explodes

That's what she said!

I imagine they use aluminum for chain mail shark suit. Aluminum is lighter then steel, & I'm pretty sure it doesn't rust.

What is the difference between a crocidile and alligator?

I wonder how long a person can hold their breath underwater

there are some accents that seem odd coming from certain ethnic groups

What is the legal age in other countries? I know it is 18 here (in the U.S.).

eh?

I know there are a few elements in the Periodic Table that only occur in space

I think some of the elements that make-up our bodies, a very small %, are actually from space

What is the difference between a meteor and meteorite?

I wonder about some pretty odd stuff

I wonder what the ant population of the entire world is. Probably some unfathomably huge #

I wonder, during the Black Plague (where the average lifespan was about 30) if guys would have a midlife crisis at 15.

I wonder why older people (like 60's, 70's & 80's) get colder then younger people (10's, 20's & 30's)

I technically have 3 brothers no sisters

I wonder how genetalia became associated with certain personality traits (i.e. ''ass'', ''dick'' & ''boob'')

it is kind of weird getting old enough to reminiscence about stuff from my childhood like Heelies.

crap, that was an accident.

(board) Instead of wretching my head back (in the sling) hold my sholders.

Ima gonna get me some hookers

I think it would probably actually be a bad idea to have humans raise and re release wild animals because they wouldn't be as wary of poachers

I think it would probably actually be a bad idea to have humans raise and re release wild animals because they wouldn't be as wary of poachers

I wonder if dogs think in the primary language of their owner(s)

I wonder if dogs think in the primary language of their owner(s)

what do omega 3 fatty acids do?

what do omega 3 fatty acids do?

people really do look ridiculous when they sleep

How long is .8 years?

I wonder if anything is actually a dime a dozen

what is avarice?

what I don't get are those little umbrella hats. Seriosly, what good do they do?

I think while marking the passage of time is a purely human concept, it would exist whether we were here or not

he he, ''grope''

alpha beta c delta epsilon f g h i j kappa l m n o p q r s theta u v w x y zeta

one man's trash is another man's treasure

When in doubt, lubricate!

Head, sholders, knees & toes, knees & toes

I prefer the term ''flop''. ''dee dee dee'' implies I'm retarded, which simply isn't true.

I imagine I look rather de de de.

I wonder how swinging a dead cat became synonomous with crowds

If they sold testicles at Walmart that'd be what

yee haw!

We all live in a yellow submarine, we hate the stupid thing, we're gonna paint it green

Is Ben Stien really the smartest person alive?

Pneumothoracies (collapsed lungs) are no

When you aren't 100%, it is a huge comfort to have your mom.

It would be a very bad idea to put a GSW (gun shot wound) in a MRI (magnetic resonance imaging).

do we really spend a third of our lives sleeping?

I bet it is a little surprising I manage to stay so friendly

I wonder if Madison Square Garden is actually a square.

I can't imagine how odd it would be to get a face transplant

I never understood how cats have 9 lives. does that mean they can actually die more than once?

I wonder how throwing vegetables became synonomous with booing somebody off stage

I am tired of these mother fuckin' snakes on this mother fuckin' plane! (for those who don't know, it is a quote from the movie Snakes on a Plane)

twinkies stay good for like 100 years

I wonder what would happen to your voice with different gasses (like with Helium)

I would think you can't hard wire a police cruiser

what the hell are box tops (like for schools)?

is the plastic partition in cop cars sound proof?

I imagine the people who do demolition are pretty mellow

heck, when I was a kid I wanted to be a veterinarian. it never crossed my mind I'd be flop

I doubt as kids anybody dreams of being a sewer worker

flop

I know emp effects computers, but what about pacemakers?

good thing I was late or else my birthday would have been 9 11

the only time your heart rests for up to a century is in diastole

how does Ritalin affect normal people?

I think a click is a kilometre

do Green Berets (like in the Army) actually wear green berets?

can humans breathe liquid oxygen?

at what temperature does oxygen become a liquid? freeze?

what is the big deal about SARS?

when the hell do you exchange ''who'' for ''whom''?

I wonder, if you work somewhere that requires hairnets (like a soup kitchen) but you don't have hair if you still have to wear one.

''wang coffin''

what I don't get is if the globe is getting warmer, how would that lead to an ice age? How do you get cold from hot?

what is the difference between a violin and fiddle?

crap, I ment to send that to Mom.

do I have to pay taxes?

Dude, radical!

I just think it would be easier with 2 parents, whether it be 2 men, 2 women or a man and a woman, to raise children.

we apparently have all kinds of crap on the moon

Technically you can't ever have a bottomless pit. Eventually you would hit the bedrock, and even if you got through that, you'd hit the core.

I am really glad I don't have tunnel vision

''Tripe Explosion'' sounds like a death metal band.

I don't think I have ever seen a wild version of live stock (cows, chickens, etc)

what the hell is nugat, anyway?

Yanno, the more I think about it, the more that Nike slogan (''Just Do It'') applies to life.

I'm a big kid now!

I have heard of ''Mommy's boy''s and ''Daddy's girl''s, but is it ever vice versa?

1 moose 2 moose red moose blue moose

I like that I have rainbow toe socks. They are completely ridiculous and right up my alley.

1 fish 2 fish red fish blue fish

what is the plural of moose? meese?

that shit is bananas b a n a n a s

I would think there would be a huge nuclear fallout if someone detonated a nuke in low earth orbit

we are big fleshy lumps of goo

I think it is fairly safe airing something about destroying the earth because no one in their right mind would and you couldn't anyway we don't have the technology

I think we should just be content with travelling near the speed of light. I think the #1 fundamental universal constant is that nothing can go faster then light.

The GPS voice is creepy

If the sky suddenly turned like red or black or yellow I'd freak out.

the only bomb proof material i can think of is water. it would become steam

he is way too energetic the slap chop guy

Recliners The lazy man's throne

sorry if I offended some people. En retrospect, that's one of those things I should have kept to myself. y

the concept (from like the 50's) that there are people on Mars is ridiculous

who in thier right mind would even be alone in the Amazon or sahara?

I know some of the stuff I say is offensive, sorry.

killer algae sounds like a bad horror movie

just how hot is lava, anyway?

just how hot is magma, anyway?

I don't really get why we try to ''save'' 50, 60, 70 year olds. I am not being a pessamist, but like what is the point when they will die soon anyway?

I wonder if it would be harder to be blind or deaf

they really don't do anything on a small scale in Texas

aren't there actually a few elements in the Perodic Table that only come from space?

seems a little ironic if you have an armored car you would have to keep getting out to refuel, since somebody could just be really patient and wait

I wonder how they came up with a circular steering wheels. I wonder if they tried hexagons, squares, triangles, etc.

I imagine it would be far worse to have a fire in the space shuttle then a submarine

if a car had 110,000 horse power, I think the tires would melt from the friction

I had heard of a Fortune 500 company, but what is a Fortune 100 company?

I would think it would be extremely difficult to refeul in mid air

Them's some tiny shorts (Dukes of Hazzard)

I think it wouldn't be the best idea not to have a monthly period. It is the first indication you are pregnant.

I am a big pink lump of goo

I wonder if the people who happen to be on ''How It's Made'' (they almost never show faces, and the only person who talks is the narrator) ever recognize themselves.

I never got the saying ''going nowhere fast''. What does that even mean?

doesn't salt water have a higher boiling temperature and lower freezing temperature then fresh water?

I didn't know we had subs in the 1700's. I thought they were invented in WW1

don't we exhale carbon monoxide?

Aside from Ren (clarinet), Mom, Dad, Michael (bass guitar) and I (piano), does anybody else play an instrument?

elevators stairs for lazy people

I wonder how we came up with Mother Earth and Father Time

mel gibson is a crazy mofo

when I see Matt Damon I can't help but think of Team America

refeuling another plane in mid flight must be really hard

how many degrees below 0 is absolute 0?

what are all the countries involved with the ISS?

why is there just a #10 envelope? What about #s 1 to 9?

if you got a ticket driving a zamboni that would be what

I know about yerba buena, angel and alcatraz islands. are there any others in the Bay Area?

bees!

cheese lava

maybe I am sweating little diamonds (I know the human body doesn't possess the heat or pressure required, I was being sarcastic)

I wonder if geese actually get goose bumps. If not, where does the term ''goose bumps'' come from?

what is the big deal about girls beating up boys?

brain fart

I think if we possibly possess any phycic abilities they are in the 90% of the brain we don't use

I wonder if the Surgeon General is actually a military general or a surgeon.

morality is a purely human concern

morality is a purely human concern

come to think of it, I have never heard of any natural enemies of the sloth

I wonder if he's really like that (Stephan Colbert)

 ''expose the mouse'' sounds pornographic

What is the difference between a wild pig and wild boar?

I think we actually take better care of animals in shelters then people. Then again, people can take care of themselves.

it seems a little dumb that the wives who were cheated on aren't ever mad at the guys who actually lied and cheated on shows like Jerry Springer.

crap I meant to send that to mom sorry

Since I have been allowed to sleep in every day, I really can't go back to sleep. I absolutely detest that people assume I can. At least ask me instead of just assuming. (board)

I know about the ''step on a crack, break your mother's back'' thing, but I wonder, does that apply to the divits in sidewalks?

best way to quit smoking? just don't start in the first place

I forget what the pancreas does

How do you transplant bone marrow?

can't sleep clowns will eat me

I wonder if they will arrest and deport you (if you are an American citizen) if you don't have a passport and stuff

What is the difference between a fiddle and violin?

I know what the ''Mile High Club'' is, but I wonder, if you had sex in Denver (the ''Mile High City''), would that count?

I think the world would have to blow up before the postal service didn't work

I wonder where the ''other left'' thing comes from. That would just be right

manniquins (not 100% sure how to spell that) without heads are freaky

there are quite a few things that don't make sense. For example, if they are from Buenos Aires, Argentina, why do they speak English? (Starship Troopers)

there are quite a few things that don't make sense. For example, if they are from Buenos Aires, Argentina, why do they speak English? (Starship Troopers)

there are quite a few things that don't make sense. For example, if they are from Buenos Aires, Argentina, why do they speak English? (Starship Troopers)

there are quite a few things that don't make sense. For example, if they are from Buenos Aires, Argentina, why do they speak English? (Starship Troopers)

there are quite a few things that don't make sense. For example, if they are from Buenos Aires, Argentina, why do they speak English? (Starship Troopers)

I learned hiccups are just spasms of the diaphragm years ago

I don't see how anybody would want to be or to do a disimpaction (don't ask, look it up)

I can't imagine how terrible it would be to burn or freeze to death

I wonder at what temperature(s) humans die

I think the banana peel thing depended on not expecting it (slipping on a banana peel)

I wonder where the term ''it's raining cats and dogs'' comes from. If it really rained animals, I would completely freak out.

I am really glad I was only temporarily ''blind''. I could see, but I couldn't open my eyes.

while people usually diss on people in the band, playing an instrument and marching in unison with like 50 other people can't be easy

if you gained weight so fast you busted your jeans, you don't need Subway, you need to see a doctor.