Hard day for the girl...

No medical scares today. But, she did have a hard day and cried a lot...

When I showed up it was obvious she had been crying. Nurse-Deborah told me she had been also. I asked Sara what was wrong and did she want to spell it out for me - she indicated Yes.
She spelled out "cold". She had been cold all day and it made her ache. She and the nurse weren't able to figure it out and she cried out of frustration and pain in her legs. I pulled out a big soft blanket and tucked her in nice and warm, then washed her face, kissed her nose, rubbed her hands and legs. Gave her a nice tuck in.

I asked her if that was all that was bothering her today and she indicated No. So I started asking her questions until I was able to come upon the fact that she's sad that Therapist-Rachel isn't going to be able to keep seeing her. Rachel is now on maternity leave to have her first baby. Sara and I talked about how there are going to be different people who she bonds with while they help her and then they will go away - she will progress past that level or change shifts, any number of reasons. It is ok to be sad that they won't be there for you, but be glad that they were and made an impact on your recovery. I reminded her of Nurse-Carlo. He made a huge impact on her and made her feel safe when she could hear his voice. That was so critical in the first two weeks when we were all coming to grips with what Locked-In Syndrome was all about. So I reminded her of him and asked if she missed him, which she said Yes. Well, I told her, that was ok - he touched her life and cared for her - that makes him special and always a part of her, just like Rachel will be now. But life goes on for everyone, including her. We talked a little while longer on this and that, and told some pretty bad jokes to her.

I did have something to tell her, though, that was hard to do. I don't keep anything from her. So I had to tell her that someone very dear to her has been diagnosed with Cancer. She burst into tears and actually sobbed. It is scary and close and I know she wants to get out of the bed and jump on an airplane to go help. I held her while she cried and looked into her eyes and stroked her face and talked about what we COULD do from here - send love, good thoughts, work on getting better so there is less to worry about with her health, and when she feels up to it write a special note. I reminded her that it is much better to know and be able to send good loving thoughts, then one day get a phone call that somebody you care about has died or is seriously ill.

Where do you go from there...? I feel bad that we can't pick up and go help and be there...I know Sara does too...

I took her laptop to the hospital so she could start watching the mountain of DVDs she is accumulating. Well, it didn't work. Apparently Mom, the technology professional, didn't get the right video codec downloaded and it wouldn't play. She did laugh at me, so it wasn't a total loss...

I'll take it to her today - providing I get it right this time. Hey...maybe I should test HER stuff too, like I test stuff at work... :)~